Like...if there was a tradeoff where I wouldn't have to enter a password or answer security questions ever again, but I had to submit to an anal probe once a month, I'd schedule the appointment today.
I now keep 4 pages of my Bullet Journal just for passwords and logins. BECAUSE YOU NEED A LOGIN AND PASSWORD FOR EVERYTHING. I have avoided some websites and store fronts because I don't want to deal with yet another damn password. My brain is too full.
I'm going to sound real old here, but there was once a time where you could just have words as you password. You know...that thing that has "WORD" in it? "Password" used to be the most popular password. And I'd wager it wasn't because the people using it were stupid, but because folks like me are just so goddamn over remembering how to login.
Until...one day I get a notification.
To keep your information secure, we recommend you update your password.
Fucking fine. I'll change it. I get out my notebook and whiteout my old password and write in the password I plan to use. After that I turn back to my computer and type in my NEW password.
But instead of taking me to where I need to go, I get a pop up...
Your password must contain capital letter, numbers, and at least one of the following characters.
So over the second layer of whiteout I write in my new new password.
Typing this brilliant and not completely obscure password into the box, I tell the computer to update my password.
So I'm done right? Oh, fuck no. Now the box says...
The password cannot be one you've used in the last five years.
After I disclose my blood type and answer ten security questions including what my hamster's favorite color in second grade was, the damn website decides it's still not good enough.
Now I need to verify the change by entering a code from a text message they'll send me.
A TEXT TO A PHONE NUMBER I NO LONGER HAVE!
I HAVE TO UPDATE THE PASSWORD TO GET INTO MY EMAIL
I gave up on getting my passwords updated for now. I need a break. I'm off to read a book. Maybe I'll read a historical. Something with NO COMPUTERS.