We are an empty kleenex box deep into this year's cold and flu season. I don't know about you, but I try my damnedest to avoid any germs that might be headed my way.

I work in retail. So I am in close contact with germs on the regular. Do you even know how gross, and cootie-covered money is? Ew.

So I am super conscious about germs at work. I would say *knocking on all the wood* that I haven't picked up any serious viruses from my evil day job. 

The problem lies in the fact that I don't live alone. I have a large family that I have to interact with, eat with, and one I sleep next to every night. Well...that last one...he's the main culprit. My hubby doesn't know how to keep his damn germs to himself. And when I do get sick, it's usually thanks to some nasty bug he's brought into the house and shared with me.

Because of that, I have identified the five stages of getting sick. Want to hear them? Keep reading. And since I started this blog by talking about work, all my gifs today are from one of my favorite shows about retail...Superstore. Enjoy.

STAGE 1 : Noticing Patient Zero

When I see a virus take down someone close to me, I make a serious mental note. When I catch someone sneeze more than twice in an hour when they aren't dusting or cooking with an excessive amount of pepper, they go on my "Don't touch them without using sanitizer afterward" list. 

STAGE 2 : Creating a Buffer

I pull back from hugs, or at least try not to breathe heavily around said sick individual. Like I said, it's usually hubby, so I try to be kind while putting at least 3 feet of space between us at all times. 

STAGE 3 : Immune System Power Up

I binge on all the high vitamin C foods. Right now I still have leftovers of all the bell peppers, strawberries, and oranges. I also buy some of the high immunity booster fizzies to add to a glass of water in the morning, and these effing deliciousRicola Herbal Immunity gummies. These suckers have blocked a few colds from taking over my life, and I swear by them.

STAGE 4 : The Tickle You Never Wanted

It could be a scratchy throat, or a particularly chesty cough, or even a burn in your sinuses that lets you know you've started the roll down the hill toward sick. I usually feel it in the back of my throat at first, but the sinuses are usually right behind. And when I notice those symptoms, I start to prepare, because I'm about to get taken over by the germs I fought to avoid. And when you are employed in a "Fire at Will" state, there are no sick days.

At this point, I buy any cold and flu drugs I'm out of, make sure I have extra tissues, and grab at least two freezer-to-oven meal options. I'm about to get sick.

Which brings us to the final stage...

STAGE 5: Acceptance

​At this point...I'm sick. There's no fighting it. There's no preventing anything. It's here, and I'm miserable. I go through my stash of freezer meals, drink tons of coffee and Tazo Butterscotch Blondie tea to counteract all the cold medicine I'm currently on. Because I don't get to take days off...especially during a polar vortex when every one is home and making tons of noise while using every dish in the house. 

Thank goodness I remembered beer. Because a little buzz to help me sleep is welcome when I'm up sneezing every two hours.

Has the dreaded cold brought your To Do's to a stop yet this year? Any tips on aiding in a quick recovery? I'd love to hear all about it, in between sneezing fits.

~Roxy

Fair warning, y'all. Your girl is sick as hell. Hubby gave me his man cold, and of course I still have to do all the things I'd normally do, I just have to do them with kleenex nearby and hopped up on cold medicine.

Maybe that's why my current read hit me as hard as it did.

I'm not naming and shaming, because I've seen this trope a few times and it makes me grumpy every time I see it. I usually try and avoid said trope, but I stumbled onto this one because I got caught up on the recommendation and didn't do my own research. It's my own damn fault. Even so, I want to talk about it.

The trope I'm talking about is the one where an overweight heroine misses out on the guy because she's "fat, insecure, and unhappy", only to have a massive weight loss, and hit him back up to show how hot and successful she is now, rubbing it in his face. Variations on this include the heroine not knowing she's going to bump into her ex/crush/fantasy guy from her past, or heroine finding out she's forced to work with said hero from her past. 

Of course, since I read romance almost exclusively in my fiction TBR, this means the heroine is about to embark on a romance with the dude who couldn't be bothered with her when she was heavy.

Obviously, as a big gal myself, this irks me. 

I'm honestly happier and more confident in myself now than I was when I was eighty pounds lighter. Yes. Honestly. I dress how I want, and I don't put on things I don't like to please others. That could also have to do with my age. The point is...my happiness is not, and has never been tied to my weight. It has to do with my thoughts. It has to do with how much time I spend working on myself and my personal goals.

Years ago, eighty pounds lighter, two months after a miscarriage, I had a male doctor look at my weight and tell me "I'm sure you're working on losing weight. You obviously can't be happy with where you're at." 

At one of the lowest points of my life, and one of my lowest weights, the doctor told me, in front of his student colleague, that I wasn't good enough. 

I'm not telling you this to evoke pity. He was an old man, and I'm sure he's retired now, if not dead. Either way, I'm confident he won't be doing that shit to other women anymore. I'm telling you this to let you know, that no matter what your body looks like, or how much you weigh, there will always be someone out there who thinks you're not good enough.

FUCK. THEM.

There is no need to prove anything to people, because you and your body have nothing to do with how awful they are. And showing up to "rub it in their face" won't make you feel better if you lose weight. Now...I'm not saying losing weight won't make you feel better. Sometimes it does. If you want to get healthier for yourself, and to be able to do more things that your weight might be holding you back from, do it. But do it for you. This idea that losing weight will make someone love you is fucking atrocious. 

Which is exactly why I loathe seeing it romanticized in fiction. 

I have no issue with reading books about women who are thin. I have no issues with reading books about female athletes. I'll never be in either of those camps, but beauty comes in a lot of forms. Not just curvy ones. And I think they should all be represented and celebrated. If every heroine was the same, it would be boring. 

What I take serious issue with, is a heroine who is stunted in her maturity level by such a degree, that she has to lose weight to "get the guy" she wants. What I take issue with is a woman who has to gain her self worth from a scale and male attention. 

If any other authors stumble on here, this probably isn't about you specifically. But if you find something I'm saying here offends you, feel free to evaluate that on your own time. If the shoe fits, feel free to strap it on and get mad at me. 

But I want to make a couple of points. 

1. Extreme weight loss comes with side effects. If your heroine looses over a hundred pounds, she's not going to have tight and toned skin. She's going to have loose skin requiring surgery at the most, and tons of stretch marks at the very least.  If she's perfect from head to toe after a dropping a ton of weight, this tells me you're a skinny woman trying to jump on the band wagon and you've never known anyone who is overweight. Educate yourself.

2. Losing weight is not Prozac. Dropping weight does not make you happy. It might give a confidence boost, but not always. The world vilifies fat people, and jumping on the train of the pretty people will make some feel better. But without showing your heroine's growth in other areas, you are equating skinny with happy, and it's just not true.

3. Not all women get fat, but we all go through changes. Very few people who have long term relationships look like they did when their relationship started. Having a hero not want a heroine when she was fat, but falling for her when she's thin, shows me as a reader that the moment she loses her looks, he'll be out the door. And I'm not down for an asshole getting the prize.


Before I get people coming for me, I'm not telling anyone what to write. People hate my books, and they are entitled to their opinion. But I have experience as an overweight woman, and what those people experience. Seeing the bullshit I deal with on the regular misrepresented to such a degree pisses me off. 

So if you want to write a curvy heroine and you've never been friends with someone who has extra junk in the trunk, maybe...I don't know...talk to us. And if you're one of those bitches who sits in a corner cackling with her buds discussing how a plus sized woman shouldn't wear certain things...just stick to writing people who you find beauty in. Because when you write a heroine you'd go mean girls on in real life, it shows. 

Below is a little song that's been making the rounds. And I feel like it's a good time to blast it in my kitchen today while I pick a different book to read. Do you have any favorite books that handle weight loss well? I'd love to have a good book cued up after my dance party.

~Roxy

It's no secret that I'm a bit of a hermit. Getting me to leave my house is not an easy task. If I have a day off, spending it with a good book is one of my favorite things.

But I do have family and friends who love to travel. And while I like to think I'd enjoy going with them, what I really like is to hear about their travels. 

Which is why I'm stoked my friendJayne Rylon has released videos about her recent adventures! She even put out a book today "Roaming with the Rylons" and I'm stoked to hear in detail all about her travels.

But since I've been crazy busy today, I was even more excited when her videos highlighting some of her adventures went live and popped up in my subscription feed.

So if you actually like to leave your house and travel, or if you're like me and enjoy checking out different parts of the world from the comfort of your pajamas while reclining on your couch, this will be something very entertaining. 

Are you a travel buff? Or are you a couch surfer who would rather play an epic video game while food is delivered to your door? I'd love to hear about it...after I watch the next video.

​~Roxy

We have had an Amazon Echo in our house for a few years now. And occasionally I like to watch videos to learn more about it. Here's the thing...I can't watch them without earbuds because my Echo picks up on the command words and has a fit. 

Every once in a while I like to be a shithead and play videos like this in friends' houses who I know have these tech pieces. Many people who love gadgets have more than one platform. So you have to tailor your videos based on platform. 

If you want a go-to video to loop and annoy your buddies. Here's a winner with Apple, Google, and Amazon all making the rounds. 

Hey...April Fool's Day is just around the corner. We need to be prepared. So if you need a good prank, put this video on your phone at low volume right next to the prankee's virtual assistant of choice, and let the good times roll.

Bring an accomplice to take video of your prank victim's annoyance. And if you do try this and succeed please share the results. I'd love to see it.

​~Roxy

With my goal to have my Miracle Mornings take place every day this year, I'm all about mixing things up and keeping them fresh. I wanted to get some cardio in, and since I don't have any exercise equipment and hate going into the outside world, I decided my first "Exercise" in my SAVERS would be walking up and down the stairs. 

I was doing okay with this and slowly increasing my time in thirty second bursts. But my knees started to hurt. I have a job where I do some serious lifting up and down a ladder and am on my feet for 8-12 hours at a time. After a couple weeks of stair climbing and working, I found myself shaking on the ladder at work because my knees hurt. (Yes, I'm fat and need the exercise, but I don't want to fall off the ladder no matter how tempting the thought of staying home on workman's comp is.)

So I'm mixing it up. I started doing a little yoga in the morning. On days when I work, I don't have anymore than an hour to do my whole miracle morning, so I needed a 5 minute exercise. I started out with just a few sun salutations, but I had to think about the steps because I'm out of practice.

Thank goodness for YouTube, y'all. I found a couple of easy stretch yoga videos that are only five minutes long. I do this right after my meditation practice and I'm already noticing a difference in my body. My feet don't hurt as much first thing in the morning, and my posture is improving as I get my blog work done. 

Here is my favorite sequence from YouTube. And it really is just five minutes!

Between this and the other aspects I've put into place with my Miracle Morning and my #Roxys7DayChallenge I start my day with a sense of calm energy that I haven't had in a long time. 

Do you practice yoga? I used to have some serious skill, but I need to work my way back up there. If you have any videos or apps you love to complement your own practice, I'd love to hear about them. I'm always looking for ways to mix things up. Or at least keep it fresh so I don't stop. I'm only 27 days into my goal of 365 in a row. I'll need to bank a few good ideas.

~Roxy

VIRGIN ON HUMAN

​Excerpt from Book 1 of The DMA Files

All of my preparation went out the window when Quinn entered the kitchen as I cleaned up the remaining dishes. 

“Quinn, you missed dinner. Should I prepare something for you? The chefs have left, but I am programmed with basic culinary skills.” I put the dish back into the soapy water and dried my hands on the dish towel I had slung over my shoulder. 

“Are you really going out with Paisley to get laid tonight?” He asked me with his hands on his hips. His manner was very confrontational. 

“That does not answer my question about the food.” 

“I want an answer to my question first.” He folded his arms over his chest. His forearms flexed and I admired the musculature under his skin. I wondered if any of his arms were mechanics. 

“I was planning on dancing more. I was not planning on lying down.” 

He exhaled and dropped his arms. “Then yes, I would love a sandwich.” 

I prepared him a sandwich and removed some of the fennel salad to put on his plate as well. I waited for him to make noises of contentment around his meal before I continued the conversation. “I will, however, have sex should the opportunity arise. I find myself anticipating the opportunity to have another orgasm.” 

Quinn began choking. He had inhaled his sandwich. That was no way to process nutrients. I walked behind him and slapped him on the back to break up any large particles in his airway. He sputtered and made noises, but drank the water I put in front of him and seemed to recover nicely. 

I would have given him the Heimlich maneuver, but I found myself wanting to touch him in other places and it would not have been easy to keep my hands in the proper position. 

“Coral, you can’t go pick up men and have sex with them.” 

“I will do my best to give them an orgasm as well. I want to make sure the experience is satisfactory for all parties involved.” I went back to the dishes. Quinn should have been satisfied now that I had explained I would not be seeking only my pleasure. 
He wasn’t.

“That’s not what I am getting at.” He got up and stood right behind me. My skin felt warmer even without him touching me. Was there some kind of strange reaction that our systems had with each other? 

I pulled the drain as I set the last clean dish in the drying rack and turned towards the man behind me. I was going to explain that this was not negotiable. I was going to explain that just because I was mechanics didn’t mean I couldn’t give and receive this kind of pleasure. 

I had all of the words in queue to be processed through my vocal chords. Then Quinn gripped me by my upper arms and leaned in to kiss me. His lips pressed against mine. His body pushed mine up against the sink behind us.

I’d never been more uncomfortable in my maid’s uniform. I wanted all of it off. Quinn couldn’t touch my pussy with my stockings and underwear on. He needed to touch my pussy. I felt myself getting wet at the thought of him touching me like he did last night. I pressed my hips against his. That’s when I knew there were mechanics in both his arms, because he held me tight. 

His tongue slipped against my lips. I opened my mouth to ask him why he was licking me on my face when he could have been licking my pussy again. Instead of my argument my tongue was busy wrapping and sliding around Quinn’s. This felt good too. 

I lifted my hands to his chest and gripped his shirt to pull him closer. When he realized I was not going to push him away he released my arms and wrapped his strong limbs around me. One hand rose to grip the French twist in my hair and move my head where he wanted while he kissed me. The other hand went lower and gripped my ass. He pressed my body harder against his. I liked that. 

​His erection pressed against my stomach and I wanted to have sex even more. If my pleasure receptors were firing off this much data at the touch of his penis on my belly… through all these layers of clothes…I wanted to have sex. Immediately. 

I went out for a rare visit into the outside world past six pm. There were a couple of stark differences I noticed now that I am pushing forty. 

And last but not least....

You could say I'm feeling old, but in reality, I'm just enjoying different aspects of the night life. You know...the ones in my jammies watching videos with a glass of wine in my hand.

​My time out with my friends is more precious, and frankly, I want to remember it. Company and catching up beats a buzz and a hangover for me now. And while I enjoy seeing the sparkle in hubby's eyes when I look nice, I'm not going to put on a goofy costume or wear a themed outfit for someone else's Pinterest-Perfect party. 

I'm pretty awesome as I am, and I'd rather hang at the bar with a beer shooting the shit for a few hours than pounding shots and avoiding being groped on a dance floor. 

Have you noticed a difference in your nights out as you've gotten older? Or am I just reaching the "get off my lawn" level a little early? I'd love to hear about it.

~Roxy

I overheard an argument the other day about paper books were going away. The two women embroiled in the topic used the ever expanding toy and trinket section in Barnes & Noble as proof that people aren't going to continue buying paper books. Although if they would have thought through their argument of using B&N as the microcosm for book world, they would see that the Nook is dying in that building too. Which would mean stories as a whole are dead. And honestly, nothing is further from the truth.

But back to the conversation I overheard, I couldn't help but thing about the incredible transformation the world of book publishing has gone through in just the past ten years.

Ebooks were around long before the kindle, but for me, that little device was what opened up the world of ebooks for me. I distinctly remember watching an Oprah episode where she gave away a first generation kindle (the one with the roller wheel, y'all) to her audience. And frankly, I'd never wanted to be in an Oprah audience more.

When the Kindle came on the scene, we had the ability to download the ebooks that were already out in the world, and take them with us, just like the paper books many of us were already lugging around in our purses and backpacks. The kindle also introduced me to the world of erotic romance, but that's a whole other story.

The interesting thing for me that came from the release of the kindle device was that we now had a viable choice. The world could carry a paper book or an e-reader with basically the same amount of space and heft. But each format has some serious pro's and con's. 

E-READER PRO's and CON's

PRO's
-Carrying thousands of books instead of just one.
-The ability to buy the next book in a series IMMEDIATELY
-Reading without someone looking at the cover of your book and feeling like they can comment on it.
-TTS or Text to Speech. (This is now a defunct feature, but I kept my old kindles so I still have this feature on mine, and it's a HUGE PRO for me.)
-Buying books from damn near anywhere in the world.
-Freebies! (Or super cheap sales. Ebooks go on sale  A LOT.)
-MAKING THE FONT BIGGER! Bless this feature. When my eyes are fried, it's a lifesaver.

CON's
-Battery-powered. (I swear, the one day I need it most is the day it dies.)
-Not able to skim pages. 
-Expensive. (The price has gone down, but back in the day, it was a $400 investment to get this bad boy.)
-Ads now appear unless you pay extra. 
-Distortion of graphics and charts depending on the publisher. 
-Flipping to footnotes and indexes is a pain in the ass.


PAPERBOOK PRO's and CON's

PRO's
-The feel of the paper. When a publisher invests in paper quality, it makes me keep reading.
-No need for batteries.
-You can borrow for free from your library. Aside from the cost of getting there, you can read a paper book without paying money.
-Immediate reading. No waiting for a screen to turn on or an app to load if you read on a tablet. 
-Author autographs. There is nothing like holding in your hands something signed by your literary rockstar.
-Reference books. Ebooks don't have the easy flip through factor, and never will.

CON's
-If you buy your books instead of borrowing from the library, it's expensive to get the new releases. And with costs as they are now, you can buy a kindle for the same price as two hard covers. 
-It's only one book at a time. Unless you want to give yourself back problems and carry five at once.
-Damage. It's easy to ding up a book, break the spine, spill on it. They yellow and get gross over time. And we won't even talk about the questionable stains found on some library books. Ew.
-You have to travel or wait for delivery of your favorite books. No shopping in your pajamas with unwashed hair.
-Nosey people. I hate having to deal with whatever reaction someone might have. The joy of reading in public is avoiding human interaction.

Can you tell by my list that I'm never going to give up either type of book?

Because I'm not. And I seriously doubt anyone else is either. There are always trends coming and going. Honestly, the thing the arguing women missed out on was the beauty of having different options to read. For those who have poor eyesight, ebooks allow them to increase the font and allow them to read. For people who are completely blind, audiobooks are becoming bigger than ever. Getting people access to the stories however they want to read them is the most important, if you ask me.

For my own reading life, I tend to live by 5 major rules when buying books.

1. Always buy reference material in paper. I've tried multiple times to do reference in audio and ebook, and if the info is good, I will always buy the print later anyway.

2. Always buy self-help/motivation books in audio. I don't know if this is simply a "how I started is how I'll continue" vibe, but I vastly prefer listening to self-help tomes in audio format. It's like someone in my ear, cheering me on.

 3. Always buy genre fiction in ebook. This only has one caveat.  I will buy print versions of books if I'm at a signing. But 9 times out of 10, I won't read the paper. They are for cuddling and cooing over only.

4. Borrow from the library and request desired content frequently. I am a huge advocate of the library. (You won't catch me with a KU subscription.) So when my library doesn't have a fave author, I always put in a request for the book. Even if I'm running right out to buy it after searching in the library's website. I want the library to know that romance and erotic romance are valid forms of literature. 

​5. Buy from a bookstore, or somewhere I know the author gets a cut. Now don't get me wrong. I do scour half-price bookstores. But when I buy from a half-price bookstore, I always buy the ebook to go with it. Or I am in the store searching for out-of-print materials. Currently I'm snatching up Samhain Publishing books I loved in ebook since I'll never be able to buy them in print from the online store again. And I'm still holding out hope that one day I'll stumble across some L.J. Smith Vampire Diaries with the original 90's cover art. But if I'm buying a reference book, it's from Amazon or a bookstore. I know how hard it is to deal with pirates and scammers. I want the authors to get the money for their work. Even if it costs me a little more. And if times are hard? See rule 4. Libraries pay for their books, and the more I borrow, the more copies of the author's next release my library will stock.


What about you? Do you prefer ebooks or paper? Or are you like me and want certain types of books in different formats? Any pro's or con's you think I missed? I'd love to hear about them.

~Roxy