Roxy's Musings - ROXY MEWS

Wearing my word

1/21/2019

I've been obsessing over the idea of choosing a single word for the year for quite some time. And part of the reason my interest in this idea was sparked was through the #MyIntent project.

I don't remember if I first saw this company on Facebook or a morning show, but the minimalistic beauty of wearing your intention every single day, and looking at it to keep you on track was brilliant to me.

If you have no idea what "My Intent" is, here's a quick video about it.

I have been eyeing the Maker's Kit at the My Intent website for almost as many years as I've been picking my own word of the year. And now, since my word is "START", I thought it was time I start wearing my intention as well as just trying to live it.

So I bit the bullet and ordered the kit. The basic package I ordered, came with some practice discs, the bracelets, the hammer, platform, and letters. I'm already itching to order more.

I practiced for a few discs, and then swiped some washers of the same size from my husband's workshop. I wanted to get the hang of the spacing and technique before I penned my own word.

There is something incredibly powerful about metal stamping your word into a bracelet. It takes thoughtfulness and, if you're a klutz like me, a very real risk of pain if you miss. I was impressed by the quality of the metals used and the cord in the kit.

The website truly doesn't do the products justice. And after stamping a few "My Intent" branded discs put up against the regular washers, I realized that the way the metal looks is night and day with the stamping process.

So I was totally done waiting. I stamped my own word standing at hubby's work bench. Scaring the crap out of the animals in the process. LOL.

In just a few minutes I had something I made that means quite a lot to me. I've only been wearing it a couple days, but I find I'm noticing it often. I'll end up spinning the disc so the word sits just right, or touching the etching on the metal.

It reminds me that I've been completing my Miracle Morning at the start of every day, and that there are so many adventures waiting for me if I simply start with the first step.

I'm three weeks into the new year and my new routine, and I'm so pumped for 2019. There is so much awful going on every damn day in our world. Maybe there's a chance I can start something good for someone. So wether it's sharing my writing in books, on this blog, making bracelets, or even breaking out my notes on podcasting, I'm hoping to start something inspirative this year. I just have to...start.

Do you have a word of the year? How do you keep it to the front of your mind? Would you wear a bracelet like this? Or is this type of jewelry not your thing? I'd love to hear about it.

~Roxy

Redefining indulgence

1/10/2019

I am a girl who likes to indulge. I'm all about a rich dessert, or a shopping spree, or wearing the softest slippers on earth all day long. But even I have to admit that the reason these things are labeled "Indulgent" plays into the fact that I know darn well I shouldn't do them everyday.

But as I'm heading down this Miracle Morning path, and working toward completing a full year of my SAVERS, I need to redefine what I feel is an indulgence. Because I realized this week that indulging doesn't have to be bad for me.

No, I'm not kidding. Stick with me here.

This morning, it took me almost three times as long to do my Miracle Morning, because I let myself get swept away by it. I was enjoying my book, so I read longer. I was enjoying the audiobook I was listening to during my exercise, so I grabbed an extra glass of water and listened for a few extra minutes before I moved on. I was enjoying playing with my planner during my visualization time, so I browsed a few web pages to get ideas on what to plan for next week and get excited about it. I even let my meditation time stretch on, because my cat had curled in my lap during the meditation, so I spent a few extra minutes in silence just petting him and feeling him purr.

I indulged in things that are good for me. I was able to be in the moment and mindful of each step I was taking.

I indulged yesterday too.

My local grocery store has started carrying pre-prepped meals ALA Blue Apron or Plated style. I've always wanted to try one, but my hubby is a steak and potatoes kind of guy, and there were always ingredients inside he wouldn't go near. And spending the $15-$18 on a meal that was just for me seemed like kind of a waste. We're on a tight budget and I couldn't justify it.

Well, what do you know, when I was out at the store this time, on a day when hubby was going to be gone all night for his job, they had marked a couple those same meal kits down to just $5. They were approaching the "prepare by" dates, and were being clearanced out. So I grabbed myself one, because I could indulge just this once.

The ingredients were some I'd never cooked with due to local availability and the fact that hubby wouldn't touch a mustard-based sauce with a ten foot pole. The mealcard looked amazing, but I am not a chef. By any stretch. I have messed up burgers to the point that I don't know I'd have called them meat by the end of it.

On the bright side, the wheatberries (what the hell is a wheatberry BTW?!?), were already cooked, or boiled or whatever the hell you do to those things. So I wouldn't screw that up. Even the chicken was already cut for me. But did I think it would turn out as pretty as the picture? Umm...nope. But hopefully it would taste good. It had bacon crumbles on top. It couldn't be totally bad.

Turns out it was one of those low calorie meals too. Only 550 calories for half the entire box. Serious score. I ended up having it for both lunch and dinner, because it was so damn tasty. And I have to say, it came out damn close to the picture too!

I was pretty sure by way the broccoli-looking thing's stalks were browning that I was screwing it up. Not to mention the fact that I had to add my own salt and pepper, so there was all that pressure.

But in the end, when I dished it out and crumbled half of the bacon that was left over it, I was impressed. (I ate a few pieces beforehand. It was bacon, don't judge me.)

I've missed my calling as a pre-prepped food chef!

Or it could be that it's a good product that looks like the picture no matter who the chef is. Either way, I did something I don't do often enough, and cooked a special dish just for me. It was definitely indulgent.

And I didn't even mind the extra dishes.

I'm starting to realize that I have to begin thinking about indulgence as something other than a vat of something bad to wallow in when my day sucks. I need to treat myself in little ways throughout my week, that can actually serve me well in the long run.

Except for exercising outside of my Miracle Morning. I'm not going that far yet.

Do you have any positive ways to indulge that you treat yourself with? I'd love to hear all about them. I need more ideas!

~Roxy

5 benefits after one week of Miracle Morning

1/7/2019

I'm a week into my New Year's Resolution of doing my Miracle Morning every day, and today was a struggle. I work 12 hour shifts every Sunday, so my body was not too happy with me when the alarm went off and I had to get my butt out of bed.

But instead of wasting time on my phone until it was time to get head into work for the day, I started with my seventh day of Miracle Morning in a row. Here are some changes I'm already noticing after a week.

1. I feel my body settle quicker when I start meditating.

I'm only doing ten minutes of mediation to start out my day, but I may add an afternoon or evening practice in as well. I don't want to add onto my morning because I want to make sure what I'm doing is sustainable all year, but I'm feeling the benefits. I feel my muscles sink into the couch where I close my eyes and breathe deeply every morning. I am able to let the million and one thought bubbles pop a little easier. And I can focus on things more than I'd been able to before this week began.

Not only that, but when I sit down and close my eyes, my shoulders drop. My jaw unclenches. The pressure behind my eyes softens. I'm incredibly grateful I picked up my mediation practice again.

2. I'm able to let more shit go instead of holding onto the anger or pain.

I was feeling really sad, and any horrible thing tended to send me spiraling. All the awful things piled on and my tears or rage would spring to the surface easily. After just one week, I can feel a space forming for me between those extreme reactions. Don't get me wrong. When an asshole cuts me off or drives fifteen under the speed limit, I still test the magnitude of my cursing abilities. Road rage is real, y'all. But when I turn off my social media for the day, I'm able to let some of the awful things go. Certain things chase me down and find me anyway, but I've got some armor on. I've got the knowledge that I'm working on making things better by starting with myself.

3. I can go up and down the stairs multiple times without getting winded.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not signing up at a modeling agency or to run a marathon, but even just 3 minutes a day of movement has made a difference in how I am able to make it around my house of many stairs. I'm interested to see what happens when I make it up to 5 minutes a day.

4. My confidence is experiencing a nice boost.

There is something about journaling on a regular basis that pumps me up. I always seem to end on a little pep talk to myself, and it seriously gets me ready for the day. Don't get me wrong. A customer service job tends to knock the wind out of your sails pretty soon after, but I get that fresh start all over again the very next day. I don't enjoy my job, but I can already tell, I head into work hating it a little less.

5. I want to do more.

I'm on the lookout for personal development classes. I'm wrangling people to write with me. (And we're starting tomorrow, ladies, so get your shit ready!) I am thinking of adding in some afternoon and evening items to my week. Now, don't get me wrong. I have been a victim of the crash and burn before. So I know better than to pile on too much at once. But I think I'm going to put together a list of items I can do if I'm feeling particularly on top of things that day.

I'm even finishing up my blog before I head into the evil day job. Look at me go! Did you make any New Year's Resolutions? Now that it's the 7th day of the year, have you kept up? Or have you realized the thing you wanted to do most wasn't right for you? I'd love to hear how the first week of your 2019 is going. Tell me in the comments!

~Roxy

Old Resolutions that I'm still working on

1/6/2019

A long time ago, on a platform far away, I sent an email to the amazing Mary Hughes. I told her I adored her books, and offered her a beer if she was ever up my way.

Amazingly she didn't kick me to the curb for being her stalker, and we struck up a friendship. She's far too good to me, and I miss chatting with her more often.

Last year Mary started turning old blog posts into videos and asked if I minded if she used mine. She chose a blog post from years ago, that I posted regarding trying new things in the new year.

I was just about to release my first ROBOSEX book, and I had the last book in my Hart Clan trilogy about to release from Samhain Publishing (RIP). My publishing world was a very different place than it is now. But one line from this caught my attention...

"I want to be more like the strong female characters I write about."

When this video popped up in my feed for a group I was reviewing, I realized it's so damn true. I want to have the ability to go for what I want, no matter who says I can't do it. Even if that someone is me.

So being that this whole week was about my New Year's Resolutions, I figured I'd share it with you. And if you enjoy this format, check out Mary's YouTube Channel. She has a ton more of these.

Do you find inspiration from the characters you read or write about? Or are you inspired by the authors that write them? Who is on your list to pick up when you need a kick in the ass? I'd love to hear about it in the comments.

~Roxy

Tracking your writing

1/5/2019

The theme of this year so far seems to be, "Listen to the good advice you've heard a million times, and follow it for once."

One of those bits of advice that I begin with the greatest of intentions but never follow through on is the idea of tracking my writing in a spreadsheet to figure out when and where I am the most prolific.

I SUCK at this.

The only time I'm ever able to record my writing on a consistent basis is NaNoWriMo, and even then, I only get the word count, I don't get any other information about where I was writing, or what time of day it was. Since I'm working on new habits and consistency, evaluating where and when I write best will be great information to have about myself. I kind of have an idea on this, but concrete evidence to back up my theory would be nice.

Not to mention the fact that wanting to write "more" this year doesn't mean shit if I have no idea how much I wrote in the years prior. (And I seriously have no clue.)

So when I read the passages about tracking writing in The Miracle Morning for Writers...again...I realized I should shut up and figure something out.

I've tried a few different techniques over the years, so I thought I'd share some of my failed attempts, almosts, and gonna try nexts. They all kind of meld together, so here are my Top 3.

1. Put it in the Planner

I've been on a planner journey, and whether it was in my bullet journal, my traveler's journal, my Happy Planner, or a random notebook I deemed worthy of the job, I have used lots of paper in trying to figure out what works for me.

The most successful I've been included a few week streak with a sprinting buddy. I sectioned off one of the daily boxes in my Happy Planner and left it specifically for words. I wrote how long we sprinted for, and how many words I got in that time. Since we were racing, it was easy for me to take the total I reported in with and jot it down.

My problem was in that I didn't write every day. I broke the chain frequently, and that pretty little writing section sat blank and ate away at my soul.

2. Excel Spreadsheets

I've created a few of my own excel sheets to track my writing. I love Excel and enjoy fiddling with the equations to make pretty graphs, so I was always able to enter totals with these, but again, the where and when weren't part of it.

If you've never made your own sheet, I found a blog explaining it by author Ava Jae. She does a much better job of explaining it than I ever could. So check out her blog.

I also found a great looking chart made up for you with lots of tracking and time management and calculating capabilities. She's charging $10 for the file, but if you want to download and not deal, you might check out Jamie Raintree's tracker on her website.

I'm a tinkerer, so I'd probably try and customize someone else's template and screw it up anyway, but the options are out there.

I haven't been able to stick to this, because I tend to give myself a set amount of time to write, and then have to book it to the next place I have to be. Opening up another document and jotting down more info after I've just written to the point of my brain is oozing out my ears, isn't something I keep up with.

That being said, I'm still going to try and set up one today. I'm thinking of setting aside time at the end of the week to input the data after jotting it down on sticky notes or in my planner. But I'm not going to beat myself up if it doesn't work.

3. HabitBull

This is the app I'm using to help with motivation for my Miracle Morning too. I'm only a couple days into using the app and I'm not at the point where I automatically pick it up yet.

The problem with any phone app for me is that it's not immediately visible. I have my calendar on the wall. I have postit notes in front of me. I keep my main planner open. Those things are visual and let me know what's coming up next, or what I still need to do for the day. Apps tend to disappear. Unless I turn on push notifications, but I'm trying to get away from that to be more mindful of what's going on around me.

The nice thing about this app in particular, is that there is a spot for notes to go along with word count. So you could totally include information like the when and where your writing time took place. All your data is exportable to CSV files from the app as well, which could make it more manageable. I'm not sure how easy it would be to manipulate in that form, though. I don't have enough to export yet.

Below is the video that made me give this particular habit tracker a shot.

I'm trying to remember that change doesn't happen over night. I'm also trying not to add too much to my plate at once. I'm one of those people that keeps heaping on the To Do's to the point of needing a clone to complete them all. It's hard not to keep adding in new habits when you see such good things happening with the one's you've already implemented.

What about you? Are you an author who tracks your writing in a spreadsheet? Or are there other habits you want to keep track of in the upcoming year? Tell me how you keep tabs on your own progress. I'd love to hear about it.

~Roxy

Don't Break the Chain

1/4/2019

No, I'm not talking about those chain letters that tell you to pass a sparkly .GIF on to five people to get good luck. Anyone who has sent me one of those...they always die with me. Sorry, not sorry. So you might as well stop. Please.

The chain I'm talking about today has to do with habits, or resolutions. Whatever you want to call them, I'm talking about something you want to start doing every day. This doesn't include cutting out sugar or chocolate, unless you're going for a shorter chain.

What I want to accomplish this year is to integrate habits into my morning routine. Every morning. The Miracle Morning I posted about isn't something that would ever be bad for me. Even if I'm sick or turn up injured, every one of my SAVERS could be modified to fit new restrictions or breakthroughs.

The phrase, "Don't Break the Chain", has been simmering in the back of my brain for a long time. I'm sure I've heard it in many self-help or productivity guides, but lately it's been resonating with me. Because it takes something shiny and techy to get my attention, the first place I really started to think about this was with Simone Giertz's kickstarter for the everyday calendar. She wanted to mediate everyday, and made a gadget to help her keep track visually for an entire year.

While I love the idea, I'm not in a position to drop $400 on a calendar. Do you know how many planner stickers I could buy with that?!?!

If you've never heard of the "Don't Break the Chain" idea, below is a short video about why it works.

This idea for me, is like the red car phenomenon. You know how you buy a car that's red, and suddenly you see red cars everywhere? That's what the chain method has been for me over the past few days. I know I'd heard the idea before, but it seems to be everywhere I turn now. I've seriously run across it at least once a day for the past week.

Maybe that has to do with the New Year and resolution content being so prevalent, but either way, I took notice.

Since I want to start doing my SAVERS everyday, it's the perfect time for me to get in on the chain action. I bought myself a cheap but pretty calendar from Dollar Tree, and I'm going to be marking off each day with a big pen slash. I would use a red marker, but I bought this shit at the Dollar Tree, and that paper isn't thick enough for marker. ;)

I'm also testing out HabitBull on my phone. I was thinking about writing out all the SAVERS individually for separate habit arcs, but that's too much effort. I already mark off the acronym in my planner as I go. So I only get to click the little button on the day when I complete all six aspects of my Miracle Morning. I'm also going to play around with the writing/blogging aspect of my goals. I'd like a way to differentiate between fiction writing and blogging without technically breaking my streak. So I've combined them for now, and I'm going to count each blog as only 250 words. That way, on days when I only have 250, I'll know it was a blog day. We'll see if I find value in the app. If not, I'll just stick to the calendar.

What do you think about the idea of doing something EVERY DAY no matter what? Do you think it's a good idea? Or are you in the camp I used to occupy where you think it's too much pressure? I'd love to hear what you think.

~Roxy

One Word To Rule Them All

1/3/2019

I like to start out each year with my "One Word". I've talked about this on my blog before. If you're interested check out my "My One Word" post. That will tell you a bit about where I heard about the idea.

My word for 2018 was "Execute". Frankly, it took me a few days to come up with last year's word, and I didn't feel the same connection I'd had in years past. Last year was a hard one for me, and frankly, I'm grateful to send 2018 into the past, and move on. I didn't accomplish as much as I wanted to. I didn't follow through on as many things as I wanted to, and nothing seemed to land right.

Frankly, near the end of the year, I was ready to toss the whole author shebang in the trash and find something else to do with my life. But writing is one of the hardest addictions to kick, and the idea of publishing another book still has me drooling like Pavlov's dogs. So I'm still here.

What I did realize through my year of missed deadlines, and unreached goals, was that consistency and getting started are the hardest things for me. Once I sat myself in front of the computer, and once I let my fingers fly across the keyboard, it wasn't as bad as I worried it would be. I didn't always accomplish what my overly ambitious goals were, but I did get something done. The real sucky part was, I never saw it that way. I saw the bit I did as not enough. I saw the forward progress as too little to matter.

Minimizing my accomplishments was stupid, and it pushed me into a state of sadness that I'm still working my way out of.

But it's a new year, and it's a new opportunity. Which is why this year, I want to focus on forward progress, rather than arbitrary numbers or quantitative goals that I put in place to keep pace with other people.

This year, my word is....

START

In 2019 I want to start everything on my To Do list each day. I want to start every day in 2019 with the Miracle Morning. I want to start each day without the baggage from the past, or the pressures of the future.

I'm not saying I'm giving up on long and short term goals. And I'm not saying I don't have deadlines to meet, but what I am saying is that this year I'm going to put my focus on consistency. Because getting those 5k writing days are awesome, but then falling into a funk because I can't replicate it three days in a row and not writing for a week... Well, that will net me far fewer words than simply giving myself permission to show up and see what happens.

This is a year I want to give myself a fresh start without comparing my successes to what I've experienced in the past. I want to give myself permission to dunk a foot in the water and test the temperature. I want to have fun again.

I'm hoping I give myself a strong foundation with my Miracle Morning and more frequent blogs. My goal for this year is to either blog or write new words every day. So I'm not going to sit here and guarantee there will be new content on this page daily, but most likely it will be at least five out of seven days in a week.

I'm hoping to take some self-development and writing classes this year. I got it in my head that I wasn't good enough to learn from some of the excellent folks offering classes. But now I'm going to start and see what happens.

I couldn't be more excited and hopeful for the year ahead. I can't wait to START.

Do you pick a word for the year? What was your word? I'd love to hear about it in the comments, or tweet it to me @RoxyMews. I'm on twitter far more than other social media streams lately. Let's chat and get started on a fantastic 2019.

~Roxy

Miracle Morning...This Time For Real

1/2/2019

If you've been with me on this blog for a while, or if you're a friend of mine, you've probably had me attempt to drag you into the "Miracle Morning" whether you wanted to or not.

I don't remember how long ago it was that I first read "The Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod, but it was a real lightbulb moment for me. I think I originally heard about this book through a Bullet Journal Facebook group. And since I'm a reader anyway, I grabbed it in ebook. I have since devoured any Miracle Morning book that I feel might pertain to me. Obviously, as I restart my Miracle Morning journey for the new year, I'm using "The Miracle Morning for Writers" as my final S in my S.A.V.E.R.S.

If you've never read any of the miracle morning books, I highly recommend starting with the original, because the author, Hal Elrod's, story is one that will make you realize your obstacles aren't so bad. He has a serious rock bottom tale, times two, and I found his story inspirational to read.

Of course, while I was writing this I discovered that I'd missed a new MM book and used an Audible credit to get on that shit immediately after I finish this blog.

It's the second day of 2019 and it's the second day I've completed my "Miracle Morning" or "S.A.V.E.R.S.". My goal is to complete a MM every morning this year. And it doesn't have to take as long as I make it, so some days I guarantee there will be an abbreviated version taking place. But it will take place.

If you've never read this series of books or heard of the technique before, it centers around doing "S.A.V.E.R.S." every morning to work on self-development.

What are the SAVERS and how do I do them each morning? Well, good thing you asked, because that's what this blog is about!

SAVERS stands for Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing (writing of some sort). The books go into detail about all the different ways you can accomplish these every morning, but according to Hal Elrod, he cherry-picked tasks successful people did every morning, and decided to do all of them.

My MM will develop and change over the course of this year, I have no doubt, and as my schedule and my family's schedules change, the time I do all of this will alter as well. But for right now, I'm doing these in order.

S(ilence) = I'm taking the time to meditate for this step. Right after I wake up and brush my teeth, wash my face, and start a pot of coffee, I drink a glass of water and head downstairs to cozy in for my ten minute meditation. For the first three weeks of this year, I'm using Audible's 21 Days of Meditation. If you're an audible member, it's free to download.

I've dabbled in meditation for the better part of 2 years now, and I've found that 10-15 minutes is the minimum I need to get the settled buzz meditation gives me. I can get there some days in 5 minutes, but I have to be in the right headspace to do it.

A(ffirmations) = I have a notebook with about ten affirmations that I repeat for at least five minutes. I have space to add more, but really I only write down the ones that speak to me. Some I've written myself, and some I've pulled from the books I've read. I keep the notebook on a small shelf and pull it out every morning after I've grabbed a cup of coffee and headed into my office space.

V(isualization) = This one is something I'm still working on. Visualization is difficult for me, because I have trouble deciding on exactly what I want to do in a day. I have a big family. There's always a wrench thrown into my day, and mapping out exactly what I'm doing is just a guaranteed fail for me.

What I've spent my time doing for this portion lately is visualizing myself at the keyboard. Thinking through what's on my calendar for the day, and what order I'm going to check off those tasks in. I imagine what needs to be done to get each task accomplished and then I visualize each item going smoothly. From the Miracle Morning for Writers we're told to "Visualize actions, not results." To Do's don't magically jump off our list, we have to work on them. So that's what I try to picture happening.

E(xercise) = Even when I did a version of the Miracle Morning prior to this year, I didn't incorporate exercise. Or if I did, it would be for a day or two and then I'd say, "Fuck it", and sip my coffee while working through the rest instead. I am overweight, out of shape, and perimenopausal which adds a whole other wrench into things. So what I'm doing right now is walking up and down the stairs in my house. Yesterday, I did two minutes. Today, I did two and a half. Tomorrow, it will be three. I'm working my way up to five minutes. And for all of you skinny folks or healthy folks who might scoff at that, try hauling a couple hundred pounds around and tell me it's easy then. I'm going with the idea that doing something is infinitely better than doing nothing. I'm playing an audiobook or podcast for a couple minutes while I get my blood pumping. And then I refill both my water and coffee and head back to my office to finish up.

R(eading) = My goal for reading is ten minutes or one chapter of whatever self-help or craft book is up next in my que. I would ideally read more than this, but when my brain is in the mood to check off the items on a list quick, accomplishing even ten minutes is a task. So I wanted to make it doable on an ongoing basis. I'm trying to get back into paper books after reading so much on my kindle and audible, so that's what I plan to use my Miracle Morning time doing. Paper only. Because the other formats I easily squeeze into the rest of my day.

S(cribing/writing) = While many people would say my blog time would more than count for this portion, I'm not going to use it. I'm picking my journal back up again. You'll see a few posts ago that I was singing the praises of making time for journaling every day. And it was true. I felt amazing when I took time every morning to write in a book with a pen and see where my head was at. I even completed a journal, cover to cover, for the first time ever in my life. I gave myself a three page/day goal, but the lines in that book were big, and it took no time at all to fill. I kept the same three page goal when I moved to a larger notebook, and I think that's where I set myself up to fail. It's why I ultimately got frustrated and quit.

So this round, I'm doing two pages per day, and allowing myself the freedom to switch to one if my morning is hectic. Writing in my journal everyday is the goal. I'm not going to stress about page count. It's also the last item on my list. Moving this back until all the creatures are fed and happy is easy.

That's it. That's what I'm going to do every day this year. I'm hoping to up the exercise as I get my body moving more, and I'm excited to gain more skill at my visualization and mediation practices. But mostly, I'm excited to see how this impacts me after my SAVERS are complete.

Stay tuned for another #Roxys7DayChallenge. I'm planning on redoing this to refresh my schedule this month as I get my feet back under me and my SAVERS timed out.

Do you do a Miracle Morning? Or are there any practices you want to incorporate every day this year? I'd love to hear about what your resolutions are. Let's kick ass together in 2019.

~Roxy

Yeah...I took a break.

1/1/2019

I know I went from daily posting to ghosting my social media channels. Nothing catastrophic happened to me. I'm not ill, or at least not any more so than I was when I was writing daily.

Something clicked in me, and even the basic daily tasks felt like mountains I had to climb every day. Add in the stress of the holidays, and the stress of both hubby and I working retail during the holidays, and my mind just started shutting down.

I had to make a decision.

I love talking on this blog and chatting on my social media outlets, but what I did know was that if I went online with the mental state I was in, I would be a huge bummer.

I guess I could have lied and posted a front of happiness, but at the heart of it, I hate being dishonest. And where I was at last month, being cheery and motivating...that would have been dishonest.

The holidays hit me hard every damn year. And I think instead of forcing myself to "get in the spirit" for 2019, I'm going to plan on taking time off. So, no matter how well I maintain a blog through the year, don't plan to see me much in November and December.

What brought me back to my blog today? What had me up and awake at 6:30am on New Years Day?

A fresh start.

I've always felt there was something incredibly beautiful about changing over the calendar and starting fresh. There is a beauty to wiping the slate clean and making a resolution or two. I'll have a few posts this week about some of my New Year traditions, so stay tuned for those.

What I wanted to do today, is dip my toes back in the internet waters. I wanted to say I'm sorry for disappearing like I did, and I wanted to let you know that if you get to a point where you need to decide between social media and your sanity, that it's important you pick your sanity. I did, and I can't say I regret it.

It's important to refill your own well before other people start dipping their buckets down your shaft.

Okay...so maybe that wasn't the best way to say it, but you get the drift. Give me a week or so, and I promise my metaphor game will improve.

I'm ripping off my band-aid today and getting back online. I hope you'll forgive me for the disappearing act. And I hope you'll come along with me as I wiggle my way back into the digital world again.

If you're dealing with a holiday hangover, (not just the champagne hangover from your NYE toasts), then come along with me. I'll share what I'm trying, and what works for me as I get back on track.

This morning, I went through my planners. Yes...planners. Meaning multiple. Don't judge me.

I pulled out all the pages for the last months. I didn't even look at them. I tossed them away and started with a fresh set of monthly pages for January 2019.

I highly recommend doing this if you, like me, suffer from planner guilt. I didn't use my planners much in November and December aside from the very basic family activities and appointments. The empty ugly pages would mock me if I left them there. So I ripped those bad boys out and shoved them in a drawer. (I don't throw them away just in case I want to brave my "To Do" lists at a later date.)

Now I have a whole month filled in with the basics, and a few pre-plan items I want to work on. Like this blog.

I took a break. But break time is over, and I'm excited to get back to work. Let's do this shit.

~Roxy

What to do the day after you're productive

11/2/2018

There is nothing like the feeling of checking off every single thing on your to do list. Maybe you got your errands done early and were able to squeeze in something you'd been putting off, or maybe you had an awesome word count day (like I did yesterday), or you just ended up cleaning your house more than you thought because it REALLY needed it.

One of the things I battle with is always trying to improve on the day before. Sometimes the stars align, the muse shows up with extra coffee, and all the lights you hit are green. But that won't happen every day. The fact that I might not hit the same stride as I did the day before is one of the hardest mental blocks I have to battle in my every day life.

So here are a few things I do, the day after I've kicked ass.

1. Express Gratitude

I have a little block in my planner, where I can write down something I'm grateful for every day. This is the perfect spot to brag on myself. And when I've kicked extra ass, I break out my stash of favorite pricey stickers and give myself a Kiss Cut pat on the back. If it was a really great day, I might also talk about it in my journal. Evaluate why it was so good, remind myself of what I've accomplished and make note of anything that might have been different from your average day. But mostly, I'm just writing down why I'm so happy it happened.

2. Make a Plan Based in Reality

Not every day is going to look the same. I had yesterday off to devote to NaNo and all things writing. I kicked wordcount ass. But today, there are a lot of other things that are going to take priority. Like bill paying, and filling up the empty fridge and pantry, and getting food for the animals, and a million other little things that weren't on my "Have To" list yesterday. So trying to write as much as I did when I didn't have to get out of my PJs until 6pm is not realistic. So it's time to break out the time block sheet and get to work. (I go over time-blocking basics in Day 2 of my #Roxys7DayChallenge)

3. Get Started Right Away

When I'm going to be busy, the only time I'm going to be sitting down is when I've scheduled in a break. (Hint: Those are important too!) So if the clock has ticked over and it is time to get started, I set a timer and move. Sometimes I have to give myself a little pep talk, bargain with my tired body, or even do a count down to convince myself to get my ass in gear, but I do it. Now. Figure out how to pull a no-nonsense attitude with your inner Procrastination Patty, and kick that bitch to the curb.

4. Adjust For Fires

You'll inevitably get stuck in traffic behind an accident, or open up that box of leftovers you were going to eat for lunch and realize you're going to have to go to the store, because food poisoning is not worth it. Something will throw a wrench in. But don't throw everything out the window. Prioritize. There is something on your schedule that isn't vital. One thing that's lower on the list than the rest. Push it off until tomorrow. Now look at your time block and move things around. Things you aren't allowed to kick off your list...food, water, and sleep. You need to take care of yourself. You're top of the list even if you don't want to be.

5. Breathe

If the overwhelm or pressure starts to build, stop what you're doing and take a deep breath. You're in a brand new day, and you're doing the absolute best you can in this exact moment. If you meditate, make sure not to miss your practice. If you don't, turn up some tunes and dance through a chore, or plug in an audio book and listen while you tackle some of your mindless tasks. Listen to something uplifting or funny. Take the moment to appreciate what you're about to get done and remind yourself why it's awesome to do so.

I hate doing laundry, but when I get backed up and overwhelmed I try to remind myself that being able to go into my closet and see the clean clothes means I can pick my cutest or most comfy clothes, and that's a gift to myself. I deserve to be pampered. Even if it's me doing it.

Today is a brand new day, and we all can take what we've accomplished in the past as a guide, but it's never going to be quite the same feel. It's never going to be the same circumstances. It's never going to be the same day. And that's okay. We're going to tackle the challenges and get shit done. Let's head off and write the next chapter. I'm hoping mine has bacon and coffee in it.

What do you do after you've hit a productivity goal? Does it motivate you to keep pushing? Or are you easily discouraged like me? I'd love to hear about it.

~Roxy