Roxy's Musings - ROXY MEWS

Sometimes Woo Woo Wows you

2/10/2019

I've been doing a complete Miracle Morning (granted a short one, but I check off every letter of my SAVERS) for 41 days now. Yes, I got my scribing done just before I hopped on here. Give me my applause.

And y'all...things are starting to happen.

I'm in a better mood. Maybe it's the meditation, maybe it's the gratitude I'm doing every day, or maybe it's the fact that I'm reading everyday again. Who knows. But what I can tell you is I find myself smiling more. I find myself saying more positive things to myself and others and meaning every damn word. After the negative place I found myself in last year, it's a welcome change.

I've also found I'm more patient with myself and my family. Don't get me wrong. I still get frustrated, and I still get overwhelmed from time to time, but I find I'm a lot more able to deal with the emotion, acknowledge it, and work toward a solution instead of spinning my wheels.

I'm on the second month of swatching a big red X through the day to complete my Miracle Morning, and even if the entire day gets dumped upside down on it's head, I can look over at that calendar and take a breath knowing I've accomplished SOMETHING. Not just one something either, six of them.

Now...we get to the real tea.

My path to publication stalled after quite a few no's recently. And I took it hard. Last year I was hoping to self-publish some of my books, but the fact is, they weren't ready and neither was I. This year I started on January 1st with my miracle morning, and some affirmations about my writing.

I've written more in these last 40 days than I had in 4 months last year. I'm seeing the spark return, and I'm excited again. I've also been trying out a few pitches and contests here and there. I've gotten two hits in less than two months.

Again...could it be luck? Could it be chance? Of course.

But it could also be the fact that I'm putting my Miracle Morning into practice. It could be that those affirmations are starting to manifest. It could be that the woo woo stuff I'd scoffed at is making a real difference in my life.

Am I saying that you have to do a Miracle Morning yourself, to get results in your life? No. I don't know you and I don't know what your personal goals and dreams are. But what I will tell you is I'm seeing real results from my practice. I'm seeing proof in my own life that changing my mindset is working, and what I'm putting out into the world is growing bigger and faster than I planned.

Maybe this woo woo stuff isn't bullshit. Maybe you should give it a try too. If you practice a miracle morning and have noticed changes, I'd love to hear about them. Tell me all the good things you've brought about in your life. Let's spread some awesome around the internet today.

~Roxy

Filling up Notebooks Brings Me Joy

2/5/2019

A lot of people are talking about the "Tidying Up" show on Netflix with Marie Kondo at the moment, so I'm sure when I talk about what "brings me joy", a petite and perfectly dressed woman with the most perfect hair ever pops into your head.

Seriously, that woman's hair is never out of place and I'm sitting here blowing my split ends out of my eyes as I type wondering, "HOW?!?"

But I'm talking about a slightly different type of joy. One that doesn't involve purging my belongings.

I love notebooks. I love looking at them, and buying them, and all the other stationary hoarding tendencies that some of us tend to exhibit in the world of writers. Unlike our buddy Ms. Kondo, who would have you try to thin out what you're not using, I'm all for being surrounded by these bad boys.

In a recent blog post about my 3 months of morning pages, I talked about how amazing it felt to fill up a notebook for the first time. I am onto my red notebook with the floral edging. I had to adjust my mindset a little, but I'm back on track and have been writing daily for over a month again with my Miracle Morning SAVERS.

The act of filling up pages and not worrying about it being for something "important enough", is exhilarating. As I inch closer and closer to the back cover with my chicken scratch, I get a little giddy.

Folks, I'm about to fill up my SECOND notebook ever.

Here's the thing. I don't know why I ever stopped journaling. I had diaries as a kid. That I never finished. I had idea books as a teenager, that sat more than three quarters empty. But now I'm starting to actively journal in a stream of consciousness way without pressure and it's been incredible. I feel lighter, I feel happier, and I feel like I'm taking time that is just for me and not a damn other person on the planet. If I'm working a challenge, or doing some kind of self-improvement class work, that goes in the journal too, but the important part is, I'm putting pen to paper EVERY SINGLE DAY.

A YouTube Channel I follow, Heart Breathings, is giving herself a challenge this year to fill up one notebook a month. (She's also a notebook hoarder and is working through her collection.) Check out the video below for what she's working on. Check out her channel if you want some serious notebook porn, because she has a video dedicated to flipping through her entire collection. And it made me want to go shopping.

While I'm not trying to use any specific number of notebooks each month, I am, as part of my goal to practice my Miracle Morning every day in 2019, going to be writing in a notebook every single day. I don't have as extensive of a collection as some, but I've got more than I'd like to admit. So I'm going to do my own #HBNotebookChallenge, and take a picture each month for my Instagram showing how my bookshelf progresses as I slowly fill it up with filled notebooks.

Right now, there are only two. One I filled up near the end of 2018, and the new one I've been working through in 2019. I'm hoping to add at least 5 more to the shelf by the end of the year for my notebook challenge.

Quick note, I was seriously about to say, I don't think I have enough blank notebooks to use for the whole year, and then my eyes landed on one of the bookshelves across from me in my bedroom where I'm typing this. I can count six on a single shelf. I swear. I have notebook amnesia. I don't even remember buying the damn things!

But it's all good. Because they make me happy to see them. They make me happy to flip through them. And as I fill more of them up with morning thoughts and intentions at the start of each day, I find so much joy in the process of writing in them.

What about you? Do you hoard notebooks? Are you going to participate in your own #HBNotebookChallenge? If you are, tell me how many notebooks you'd like to work through in 2019. Or tell me how many you've got stashed around your house. I'd love to hear about it.

~Roxy

Yoga in the morning

1/27/2019

With my goal to have my Miracle Mornings take place every day this year, I'm all about mixing things up and keeping them fresh. I wanted to get some cardio in, and since I don't have any exercise equipment and hate going into the outside world, I decided my first "Exercise" in my SAVERS would be walking up and down the stairs.

I was doing okay with this and slowly increasing my time in thirty second bursts. But my knees started to hurt. I have a job where I do some serious lifting up and down a ladder and am on my feet for 8-12 hours at a time. After a couple weeks of stair climbing and working, I found myself shaking on the ladder at work because my knees hurt. (Yes, I'm fat and need the exercise, but I don't want to fall off the ladder no matter how tempting the thought of staying home on workman's comp is.)

So I'm mixing it up. I started doing a little yoga in the morning. On days when I work, I don't have anymore than an hour to do my whole miracle morning, so I needed a 5 minute exercise. I started out with just a few sun salutations, but I had to think about the steps because I'm out of practice.

Thank goodness for YouTube, y'all. I found a couple of easy stretch yoga videos that are only five minutes long. I do this right after my meditation practice and I'm already noticing a difference in my body. My feet don't hurt as much first thing in the morning, and my posture is improving as I get my blog work done.

Here is my favorite sequence from YouTube. And it really is just five minutes!

Between this and the other aspects I've put into place with my Miracle Morning and my #Roxys7DayChallenge I start my day with a sense of calm energy that I haven't had in a long time.

Do you practice yoga? I used to have some serious skill, but I need to work my way back up there. If you have any videos or apps you love to complement your own practice, I'd love to hear about them. I'm always looking for ways to mix things up. Or at least keep it fresh so I don't stop. I'm only 27 days into my goal of 365 in a row. I'll need to bank a few good ideas.

~Roxy

Redefining indulgence

1/10/2019

I am a girl who likes to indulge. I'm all about a rich dessert, or a shopping spree, or wearing the softest slippers on earth all day long. But even I have to admit that the reason these things are labeled "Indulgent" plays into the fact that I know darn well I shouldn't do them everyday.

But as I'm heading down this Miracle Morning path, and working toward completing a full year of my SAVERS, I need to redefine what I feel is an indulgence. Because I realized this week that indulging doesn't have to be bad for me.

No, I'm not kidding. Stick with me here.

This morning, it took me almost three times as long to do my Miracle Morning, because I let myself get swept away by it. I was enjoying my book, so I read longer. I was enjoying the audiobook I was listening to during my exercise, so I grabbed an extra glass of water and listened for a few extra minutes before I moved on. I was enjoying playing with my planner during my visualization time, so I browsed a few web pages to get ideas on what to plan for next week and get excited about it. I even let my meditation time stretch on, because my cat had curled in my lap during the meditation, so I spent a few extra minutes in silence just petting him and feeling him purr.

I indulged in things that are good for me. I was able to be in the moment and mindful of each step I was taking.

I indulged yesterday too.

My local grocery store has started carrying pre-prepped meals ALA Blue Apron or Plated style. I've always wanted to try one, but my hubby is a steak and potatoes kind of guy, and there were always ingredients inside he wouldn't go near. And spending the $15-$18 on a meal that was just for me seemed like kind of a waste. We're on a tight budget and I couldn't justify it.

Well, what do you know, when I was out at the store this time, on a day when hubby was going to be gone all night for his job, they had marked a couple those same meal kits down to just $5. They were approaching the "prepare by" dates, and were being clearanced out. So I grabbed myself one, because I could indulge just this once.

The ingredients were some I'd never cooked with due to local availability and the fact that hubby wouldn't touch a mustard-based sauce with a ten foot pole. The mealcard looked amazing, but I am not a chef. By any stretch. I have messed up burgers to the point that I don't know I'd have called them meat by the end of it.

On the bright side, the wheatberries (what the hell is a wheatberry BTW?!?), were already cooked, or boiled or whatever the hell you do to those things. So I wouldn't screw that up. Even the chicken was already cut for me. But did I think it would turn out as pretty as the picture? Umm...nope. But hopefully it would taste good. It had bacon crumbles on top. It couldn't be totally bad.

Turns out it was one of those low calorie meals too. Only 550 calories for half the entire box. Serious score. I ended up having it for both lunch and dinner, because it was so damn tasty. And I have to say, it came out damn close to the picture too!

I was pretty sure by way the broccoli-looking thing's stalks were browning that I was screwing it up. Not to mention the fact that I had to add my own salt and pepper, so there was all that pressure.

But in the end, when I dished it out and crumbled half of the bacon that was left over it, I was impressed. (I ate a few pieces beforehand. It was bacon, don't judge me.)

I've missed my calling as a pre-prepped food chef!

Or it could be that it's a good product that looks like the picture no matter who the chef is. Either way, I did something I don't do often enough, and cooked a special dish just for me. It was definitely indulgent.

And I didn't even mind the extra dishes.

I'm starting to realize that I have to begin thinking about indulgence as something other than a vat of something bad to wallow in when my day sucks. I need to treat myself in little ways throughout my week, that can actually serve me well in the long run.

Except for exercising outside of my Miracle Morning. I'm not going that far yet.

Do you have any positive ways to indulge that you treat yourself with? I'd love to hear all about them. I need more ideas!

~Roxy

5 benefits after one week of Miracle Morning

1/7/2019

I'm a week into my New Year's Resolution of doing my Miracle Morning every day, and today was a struggle. I work 12 hour shifts every Sunday, so my body was not too happy with me when the alarm went off and I had to get my butt out of bed.

But instead of wasting time on my phone until it was time to get head into work for the day, I started with my seventh day of Miracle Morning in a row. Here are some changes I'm already noticing after a week.

1. I feel my body settle quicker when I start meditating.

I'm only doing ten minutes of mediation to start out my day, but I may add an afternoon or evening practice in as well. I don't want to add onto my morning because I want to make sure what I'm doing is sustainable all year, but I'm feeling the benefits. I feel my muscles sink into the couch where I close my eyes and breathe deeply every morning. I am able to let the million and one thought bubbles pop a little easier. And I can focus on things more than I'd been able to before this week began.

Not only that, but when I sit down and close my eyes, my shoulders drop. My jaw unclenches. The pressure behind my eyes softens. I'm incredibly grateful I picked up my mediation practice again.

2. I'm able to let more shit go instead of holding onto the anger or pain.

I was feeling really sad, and any horrible thing tended to send me spiraling. All the awful things piled on and my tears or rage would spring to the surface easily. After just one week, I can feel a space forming for me between those extreme reactions. Don't get me wrong. When an asshole cuts me off or drives fifteen under the speed limit, I still test the magnitude of my cursing abilities. Road rage is real, y'all. But when I turn off my social media for the day, I'm able to let some of the awful things go. Certain things chase me down and find me anyway, but I've got some armor on. I've got the knowledge that I'm working on making things better by starting with myself.

3. I can go up and down the stairs multiple times without getting winded.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not signing up at a modeling agency or to run a marathon, but even just 3 minutes a day of movement has made a difference in how I am able to make it around my house of many stairs. I'm interested to see what happens when I make it up to 5 minutes a day.

4. My confidence is experiencing a nice boost.

There is something about journaling on a regular basis that pumps me up. I always seem to end on a little pep talk to myself, and it seriously gets me ready for the day. Don't get me wrong. A customer service job tends to knock the wind out of your sails pretty soon after, but I get that fresh start all over again the very next day. I don't enjoy my job, but I can already tell, I head into work hating it a little less.

5. I want to do more.

I'm on the lookout for personal development classes. I'm wrangling people to write with me. (And we're starting tomorrow, ladies, so get your shit ready!) I am thinking of adding in some afternoon and evening items to my week. Now, don't get me wrong. I have been a victim of the crash and burn before. So I know better than to pile on too much at once. But I think I'm going to put together a list of items I can do if I'm feeling particularly on top of things that day.

I'm even finishing up my blog before I head into the evil day job. Look at me go! Did you make any New Year's Resolutions? Now that it's the 7th day of the year, have you kept up? Or have you realized the thing you wanted to do most wasn't right for you? I'd love to hear how the first week of your 2019 is going. Tell me in the comments!

~Roxy

One Word To Rule Them All

1/3/2019

I like to start out each year with my "One Word". I've talked about this on my blog before. If you're interested check out my "My One Word" post. That will tell you a bit about where I heard about the idea.

My word for 2018 was "Execute". Frankly, it took me a few days to come up with last year's word, and I didn't feel the same connection I'd had in years past. Last year was a hard one for me, and frankly, I'm grateful to send 2018 into the past, and move on. I didn't accomplish as much as I wanted to. I didn't follow through on as many things as I wanted to, and nothing seemed to land right.

Frankly, near the end of the year, I was ready to toss the whole author shebang in the trash and find something else to do with my life. But writing is one of the hardest addictions to kick, and the idea of publishing another book still has me drooling like Pavlov's dogs. So I'm still here.

What I did realize through my year of missed deadlines, and unreached goals, was that consistency and getting started are the hardest things for me. Once I sat myself in front of the computer, and once I let my fingers fly across the keyboard, it wasn't as bad as I worried it would be. I didn't always accomplish what my overly ambitious goals were, but I did get something done. The real sucky part was, I never saw it that way. I saw the bit I did as not enough. I saw the forward progress as too little to matter.

Minimizing my accomplishments was stupid, and it pushed me into a state of sadness that I'm still working my way out of.

But it's a new year, and it's a new opportunity. Which is why this year, I want to focus on forward progress, rather than arbitrary numbers or quantitative goals that I put in place to keep pace with other people.

This year, my word is....

START

In 2019 I want to start everything on my To Do list each day. I want to start every day in 2019 with the Miracle Morning. I want to start each day without the baggage from the past, or the pressures of the future.

I'm not saying I'm giving up on long and short term goals. And I'm not saying I don't have deadlines to meet, but what I am saying is that this year I'm going to put my focus on consistency. Because getting those 5k writing days are awesome, but then falling into a funk because I can't replicate it three days in a row and not writing for a week... Well, that will net me far fewer words than simply giving myself permission to show up and see what happens.

This is a year I want to give myself a fresh start without comparing my successes to what I've experienced in the past. I want to give myself permission to dunk a foot in the water and test the temperature. I want to have fun again.

I'm hoping I give myself a strong foundation with my Miracle Morning and more frequent blogs. My goal for this year is to either blog or write new words every day. So I'm not going to sit here and guarantee there will be new content on this page daily, but most likely it will be at least five out of seven days in a week.

I'm hoping to take some self-development and writing classes this year. I got it in my head that I wasn't good enough to learn from some of the excellent folks offering classes. But now I'm going to start and see what happens.

I couldn't be more excited and hopeful for the year ahead. I can't wait to START.

Do you pick a word for the year? What was your word? I'd love to hear about it in the comments, or tweet it to me @RoxyMews. I'm on twitter far more than other social media streams lately. Let's chat and get started on a fantastic 2019.

~Roxy

Miracle Morning...This Time For Real

1/2/2019

If you've been with me on this blog for a while, or if you're a friend of mine, you've probably had me attempt to drag you into the "Miracle Morning" whether you wanted to or not.

I don't remember how long ago it was that I first read "The Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod, but it was a real lightbulb moment for me. I think I originally heard about this book through a Bullet Journal Facebook group. And since I'm a reader anyway, I grabbed it in ebook. I have since devoured any Miracle Morning book that I feel might pertain to me. Obviously, as I restart my Miracle Morning journey for the new year, I'm using "The Miracle Morning for Writers" as my final S in my S.A.V.E.R.S.

If you've never read any of the miracle morning books, I highly recommend starting with the original, because the author, Hal Elrod's, story is one that will make you realize your obstacles aren't so bad. He has a serious rock bottom tale, times two, and I found his story inspirational to read.

Of course, while I was writing this I discovered that I'd missed a new MM book and used an Audible credit to get on that shit immediately after I finish this blog.

It's the second day of 2019 and it's the second day I've completed my "Miracle Morning" or "S.A.V.E.R.S.". My goal is to complete a MM every morning this year. And it doesn't have to take as long as I make it, so some days I guarantee there will be an abbreviated version taking place. But it will take place.

If you've never read this series of books or heard of the technique before, it centers around doing "S.A.V.E.R.S." every morning to work on self-development.

What are the SAVERS and how do I do them each morning? Well, good thing you asked, because that's what this blog is about!

SAVERS stands for Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing (writing of some sort). The books go into detail about all the different ways you can accomplish these every morning, but according to Hal Elrod, he cherry-picked tasks successful people did every morning, and decided to do all of them.

My MM will develop and change over the course of this year, I have no doubt, and as my schedule and my family's schedules change, the time I do all of this will alter as well. But for right now, I'm doing these in order.

S(ilence) = I'm taking the time to meditate for this step. Right after I wake up and brush my teeth, wash my face, and start a pot of coffee, I drink a glass of water and head downstairs to cozy in for my ten minute meditation. For the first three weeks of this year, I'm using Audible's 21 Days of Meditation. If you're an audible member, it's free to download.

I've dabbled in meditation for the better part of 2 years now, and I've found that 10-15 minutes is the minimum I need to get the settled buzz meditation gives me. I can get there some days in 5 minutes, but I have to be in the right headspace to do it.

A(ffirmations) = I have a notebook with about ten affirmations that I repeat for at least five minutes. I have space to add more, but really I only write down the ones that speak to me. Some I've written myself, and some I've pulled from the books I've read. I keep the notebook on a small shelf and pull it out every morning after I've grabbed a cup of coffee and headed into my office space.

V(isualization) = This one is something I'm still working on. Visualization is difficult for me, because I have trouble deciding on exactly what I want to do in a day. I have a big family. There's always a wrench thrown into my day, and mapping out exactly what I'm doing is just a guaranteed fail for me.

What I've spent my time doing for this portion lately is visualizing myself at the keyboard. Thinking through what's on my calendar for the day, and what order I'm going to check off those tasks in. I imagine what needs to be done to get each task accomplished and then I visualize each item going smoothly. From the Miracle Morning for Writers we're told to "Visualize actions, not results." To Do's don't magically jump off our list, we have to work on them. So that's what I try to picture happening.

E(xercise) = Even when I did a version of the Miracle Morning prior to this year, I didn't incorporate exercise. Or if I did, it would be for a day or two and then I'd say, "Fuck it", and sip my coffee while working through the rest instead. I am overweight, out of shape, and perimenopausal which adds a whole other wrench into things. So what I'm doing right now is walking up and down the stairs in my house. Yesterday, I did two minutes. Today, I did two and a half. Tomorrow, it will be three. I'm working my way up to five minutes. And for all of you skinny folks or healthy folks who might scoff at that, try hauling a couple hundred pounds around and tell me it's easy then. I'm going with the idea that doing something is infinitely better than doing nothing. I'm playing an audiobook or podcast for a couple minutes while I get my blood pumping. And then I refill both my water and coffee and head back to my office to finish up.

R(eading) = My goal for reading is ten minutes or one chapter of whatever self-help or craft book is up next in my que. I would ideally read more than this, but when my brain is in the mood to check off the items on a list quick, accomplishing even ten minutes is a task. So I wanted to make it doable on an ongoing basis. I'm trying to get back into paper books after reading so much on my kindle and audible, so that's what I plan to use my Miracle Morning time doing. Paper only. Because the other formats I easily squeeze into the rest of my day.

S(cribing/writing) = While many people would say my blog time would more than count for this portion, I'm not going to use it. I'm picking my journal back up again. You'll see a few posts ago that I was singing the praises of making time for journaling every day. And it was true. I felt amazing when I took time every morning to write in a book with a pen and see where my head was at. I even completed a journal, cover to cover, for the first time ever in my life. I gave myself a three page/day goal, but the lines in that book were big, and it took no time at all to fill. I kept the same three page goal when I moved to a larger notebook, and I think that's where I set myself up to fail. It's why I ultimately got frustrated and quit.

So this round, I'm doing two pages per day, and allowing myself the freedom to switch to one if my morning is hectic. Writing in my journal everyday is the goal. I'm not going to stress about page count. It's also the last item on my list. Moving this back until all the creatures are fed and happy is easy.

That's it. That's what I'm going to do every day this year. I'm hoping to up the exercise as I get my body moving more, and I'm excited to gain more skill at my visualization and mediation practices. But mostly, I'm excited to see how this impacts me after my SAVERS are complete.

Stay tuned for another #Roxys7DayChallenge. I'm planning on redoing this to refresh my schedule this month as I get my feet back under me and my SAVERS timed out.

Do you do a Miracle Morning? Or are there any practices you want to incorporate every day this year? I'd love to hear about what your resolutions are. Let's kick ass together in 2019.

~Roxy

Timers are Magic

10/30/2018

(*NOTE* I'm linking a lot of things in this article. Hover over the words and click your little heart away)

As I'm getting myself ready for NaNoWriMo this year, I'm realizing that timers are magic. And I'm not the only one who thinks so!

Have you ever noticed how many productivity methods recommend timers? Sure, NaNoWriMo has atimer, but you can also set up word sprints days in advance! If you're going to be home at 9am (EST) on November 1st, click the button below and sprint with me. Let's give this group sprint thing a try.

NaNoWriMo Group Sprint for 15 minutes

Not a fan of the NaNoWriMo website? You can try Discord, searching for Twitter for #wordsprint, #NaNoWriMo, or #1k1hr, or even send me a message on Facebook, and I'll drop you into my handy dandy NaNo group "Roxy's NaNoWriMo 2018 Rockstars".

Those are just the various places I'll be hanging out getting some writing done. And I'll be doing it 15-30 minutes at a time. There is something fantastic about using a timer that makes the whole shebang seem more vital. It's a race against the clock to battle back the blank page with tons of words.

Did you know that timers have the same magic outside of your WIP? It took tons of self-help and productivity guides spewing the same stuff at me for me to take the timer outside of my writing time. But seriously. It's brilliant.

I have been on and off the Flylady method of house work for years. And one of her favorite sayings that I have found myself parroting again and again is "You can do anything for 15 mintues." You totally can by the way. Knowing the hated chore you're working on will only take up your day for a set period of time, and giving yourself permission to stop after you've dedicated time to it, is fucking liberating in a way I didn't know I needed.

Miracle Morning, the book and lifestyle technique designed by Hal Elrod, began as a way to spend one hour every morning developing himself in different ways. He'd set a timer for things like reading, working out, journaling, etc. If you aren't familiar with the S.A.V.E.R.S., I'd tell you it's worth your time to pick up.

He has various other books with slants on different careers, including writing, and personally, I've gotten something valuable from each one.

Know who else uses timers? People who practice the Pomodoro technique, which is simply setting a timer to get any task done, and then taking a brief break. According Wikipedia, it was a technique developed in the 80's, but I have a feeling people have been doing this for a lot longer than that.

Why are people talking about setting a timer and using it to get shit done?

Because it works. Period. Dot. End of story.

I don't know why, and I don't know how. I'm sure there is some kind of chemical in our brains that makes us work harder when we're put up against a hard deadline. Probably something to do with our inherent survival instinct that I don't have the background to talk about. But I can tell you, this timer shit works.

I've been using the Forest App, I talked about a couple blogs ago. Holy shit, is this app amazingly helpful. Know why? It stops you from picking up your phone. If you go to check a notification and leave the app, you'll kill your "tree" or "bush". Anyone ever cried during The Lorax? *raises hand* This app will guilt you into doing your shit and putting the social media aside for later.

I challenge you to set a timer for something you've been putting off today. It's after 3pm my time, so I set a timer to get this blog done. And I'm going to have a happy little tree to add to my forrest in my app in another 8 minutes. Because that's the beauty of the timer, for me. I accomplish more in less time. If I have 6 hours to do something, it will take me 6 hours. If I only have thirty minutes...well, I'll bet I get more done in those thirty minutes than I would have if I hadn't set the timer.

Do you use timers? If you do, tell me what you use. I'm always down for another gadget. If you don't use timers, are you thinking about snagging one now? I'd love to hear about it.

~Roxy

Dealing with lack of focus

10/20/2018

So I've been pretty open about the fact that I'm of a certain age and along with many other women I've started to deal with weight gain, hot flashes, mood swings, trouble sleeping, and...

Um...did I start the dishwasher? Hold on. Let me check real quick. And let me re-heat my coffee that went cold because I forgot to drink it while I'm in there.

Anyway...Focus! Yeah. Lack of focus. That's what this blog is going to be about.

In all seriousness, it made me feel infinitely better to know that most of my symptoms could be chalked up to hormonal shifts. Because it's been a dramatic ride in the last couple of years, and while I've been dealing with hot flashes and night sweats for quite some time, the weight gain, and ability to focus snuck up on me.

I have tried a few different ways to help deal with the changes going on in my body. But a lot of them involve taking supplements and pills, and hello? If I'm having trouble focusing and remembering things, how am I going to remember to take a pill? Or if I have taken it already? Or what day it is?

I've used a few different "Menopause" vitamins. And Black Cohosh supplements. But I could not remember to take them consistently, and because of that, they gave me additional highs and lows I didn't need in my life. I know they work well for some people, but I felt like they added to the waves I desperately wanted to calm.

So I've been googling, and aside from regular exercise (UGH), the best thing I've found is mediation.

Working with meditation practice and allowing your brain to work on one thing only, like breathing, is a fantastic way to begin regaining focus in your life.

I fell off the meditation wagon this month, and I am a prime example of what happens when you stop. My brain suffered for it. I had been meditating consistently for months, and it was when I began skipping days that I noticed my mind slipping.

Of course some awful things in the news and triggered memories were pushing to the front, and the last thing I wanted was to be alone with my mind. So I thought I could push all of it aside and work with distraction instead.

While distraction works for me in the short term, and we all do it, there came a point where I needed to climb back out.

I'm working my way back to my normal now, and journaling and mediation are part of it. I blogged about my favorite mediation apps in June of this year. They're all pretty much the same. I've been sticking primarily to Mindfullness. The ability to tell myself that "this will only take five minutes" is what I need to force myself to do the work.

With my brain, getting started is the hardest part. If you're struggling to get on the meditation band wagon...just try.

If you've never done it before, don't be intimidated. You don't have to get your legs in a pretzel and sit on the hard floor to get the benefits. Hell, I've done it in the car while waiting for hubby to get off work.

THREE STEPS TO MEDITATING

1. Get comfy. Let your shoulders drop, and get your hands in a place that feels like they won't slip. I usually intertwine my fingers and place them so my palms face my stomach. I also meditate barefoot with my feet flat on the floor. But find where you can feel most relaxed.

2. Turn off your phone. Obviously if you're using an app, or timer on your phone, this won't work, but the Mindfullness App I use can work while my phone is on Airplane mode. So try that. Open your app, or set a timer for however long you want to meditate for. Even five minutes makes a huge difference.

3. Breathe. There are all kinds of different techniques on this. But at the end of the day, focusing on your breath is all you need. If I'm struggling with something I imagine breathing in one thing while letting something else go. For example, on the in breath I'll imagine breathing in calm, and on the out breath, I'll imagine expelling stress from my body. Or confidence and fear. Or strength and pain. I adjust as needed. But by focusing on letting the good in and the bad out, I can be in touch with myself, and use my breath to work on it.

Are you struggling with focus? Or with giving meditation a real shot? Let me know what your tips are for getting back in the swing of things when you fall off the boat. I'd love to hear any tips you have.

~Roxy

Day 7: Make it routine #Roxys7daychallenge

8/2/2018

Today's post is powered by Death Wish Coffee. Because I'm dead tired.

Today's the day. It's the last day of the challenge, and we're going to make a routine for ourselves. Mine is going to be a morning routine.

I have attempted to do Miracle Mornings many many times, but I always fell off the wagon. Why? Because I needed more than one. My most productive time is in the mornings, but my evil day job starts at different times. So I need routines to fit those various days.

You've been living with your schedule for a week. You've seen when you're most productive, and when your energy is drained. You've also figured out your long game goal, and what you need to focus on for your health first.

It's time to put some serious routine in place.

STEP 1. When are you doing this routine?
Are you a night owl, and need a before bed routine most? Are you like me, and need to start off your day with productivity or it's shot to hell? Or do you need something after everyone is finally out of your house?

If you've been following along for all seven days, you already have an hour set aside that works best for you. Maybe your routine can replace that time.

Pick your time slot, and figure out exactly how much time you have available for this routine. Or how much you want to spend on something you're planning to do daily.

STEP 2. Write down your top 3.
If you make a four and a half hour routine plan to do everyday after not having one at all, it's not going to stick. Trust me. I've been there, tried that, made it two days and crashed and burned hard.

So pick the three things that matter the most to you in your routine. If you wake up late, or your schedule changes, what three things make you feel like you've kicked ass. You're not setting this in stone, but I'd say putting it in writing somewhere you can see it, is valuable.

My current top 3 are
Morning Pages
Meditation
Blog Post

If the dishes don't get done, or if the counters don't get wiped down, or if I don't get any writing done, these things I can do no matter my mental or physical state. They are my top three.

STEP 3. Make your plan.
You know when you want to get your routine in place and the top three things you want to include. Now it's up to you if you can or want to commit to more.

Be honest with yourself. What do you know you can do? And what are you realistically able to accomplish? If you're giving yourself a morning routine, and stringing together complete sentences is damn hard before 8am, don't promise yourself you're going to write your next novel by getting up and writing at 6am.

This is also where you can give yourself a kick in the ass with all the "Things I need to stop doing" notes you took yesterday. One of mine was that I need to stop checking my apps as soon as I wake up. So I'm putting a step in my routine to put my phone by the sink where I'll be listening to an audiobook while I do dishes.

When you're first getting started make sure you figure in buffer time. If something takes you a couple extra minutes, you shouldn't have to worry about it throwing off your entire schedule.

My morning routine I worked up for this challenge is below, so you can see what I'm talking about visually if it helps.

YES, I know. It's 3 hours long. YES, I know I just told you not do to that. BUT! This isn't my first routine rodeo.

Also, there is some built in wiggle room. I can get the top three things done in fifteen minutes, and I have three times that amount of time set aside. That way if my dog decides to sniff every inch of our yard, I'm not behind.

It also takes me literally two minutes to start a load of laundry if everything is already brought downstairs. So that's when a really good part of my audio book won't let me stop listening, or I find that random pile of animal vomit because my dog decided to eat mulch again, gets taken care of.

I have also been working on my morning routine for the last month. Want to know what my morning routine was a month ago?

That. It looked like that. I spent an hour. I only meditated for 5 minutes when I started. My blogs were whatever came up in my morning pages. And that was it.

I'm not going to put all my morning routines in this post, because I'm making three different versions and y'all don't care that much. However, I am going to print and post those bad boys where I can see them. I'm going to have them up and ready to remind me that working toward my goals is important to me. This routine doesn't include my writing yet, but these items are ones that rev me up for the rest of my day and get me excited and working. Writing comes after my daily routine. In theory. ;)

STEP 4. Post your routine, and add it to your hourly calendar.
Print out or write up your routine. Even if it's a simple checklist of your top 3, write it out and post it somewhere you'll see it everyday. Your computer, your mirror, your fridge. It doesn't matter where it is, but it should be in your face. There's something about the act of putting a routine in writing that makes it more real. Today, make your commitment to yourself real.

I wouldn't suggest writing out each step of your morning routine in your hourly calendar. If you're like me, and want to be very detailed with your routine to visualize it better, you don't want a notification going off every 5 minutes. If your routine isn't taking place first thing in the morning, you may want to set up a reminder for you to get started on it, but on your calendar, just mark this as "Daily Routine" or "Morning Routine" or "Bedtime Routine".

I keep my routines saved on an Excel file so I can tweak them as I see fit. As I shift my routines around based on my current goals, I don't have to update ten items on my calendar with it.

Welp. That's it! That's my 7 day challenge. Even if you only took on one of the tasks, I'm hoping you got something out of it. I sure did.

I needed the kick in the ass and the push to work through these items myself. I can't exactly ask you do to these things without doing them with you.

I'm excited for my new routines to be posted in my office. Although, looking around my office space, I've realized I don't have a clock that isn't attached to some distraction ridden device. So I need to go shopping too. I'll add it to my calendar today.

Make sure to send me screenshots or pictures of any tasks you'd like to share. I'd love to see what you've accomplished this week.

~Roxy