​My planner game hasn’t been the strongest. In fact…I have been a "burnout" type of planner as of late. I go ham for a few months/weeks, where I am on my shit. I will know exactly where I need to be, will check my planner multiple times through the day and get my to do list done early. But then I start adding more and more to my list. Because I’ve been so productive, that I can do more, right? Wrong. That's when the lists get so long that I can’t possibly do it all. Which makes me sad. Which means I feel like (and often do) throw the whole planner game out the window.
 
Why am I mentioning this? Because it’s the start of a new year. It’s the start of a new month, and I am procrastinating about setting up my planner for February. I was going to get this blog up last week, so I could set up my new habit tracker that I’d been loving in January. I was going to be on task and loving what I did. As usual, I'm adding too much to my plate, and I need to knock that shit out.
 
I have decided to do mini goals for 2020 instead of one big one, or massive never-ending To Do lists. With my kids’ activities taking up more and more time, and random life events causing massive shifts in my day, I have no idea what next month, let alone the end of the year is going to look like.
 
So I am going to use monthly goals instead. And super small ones. Some things might turn into habits, and I may end up getting way more than three things done, but it's my thought that if I can accomplish three little things every day to push me toward the joy I want to achieve this year...then I'm moving in the right direction.
 
I’m using a mini Happy Planner to attempt to wrangle all the kid/family activities this year, and having a habit tracker gives me yet another reason to open my planner.
 
Along with working on finding my joy this year, I’m also trying to give myself a little grace. There are going to be days when I am on it, and getting shit done like a badass. Then there are going to be days where I’m not mentally or physically capable. So I am going for a top three, and the idea that some is better than none.
 
In January my top 3 items were Journal, Read, and, Water before Coffee. I didn’t do too bad. And I have a feeling some of these items are going to become habitual for me.
 
In February, I’m hoping to get back into some of the things I love. I’ve been digging back into my tarot collection, and want to start doing daily pulls for myself. I’ve already been journaling on my iPad as a morning page practice, but I’ve found myself truly enjoying making notes about my tarot spread for the day, and want to keep that up.
 
I also want to start writing fiction again. I am not putting pressure on myself other than needing to sit down and get words on the page. The creative muscles need some exercise, and I’m going to get back into it 200 words at a time. So my second daily goal, is 200 fiction words per day.
 
The third goal was one I have been going back and forth on, but I think it is going to be to develop a night time routine. My pets and crazy morning schedule don’t leave me much flex in my mornings. What I have a bit more control of is how I spend my nights. I want to develop and do an evening routine every night in February. Even laying out my clothes for the next day and prepping the coffee maker makes the morning feel so much less stressful. I still have to come up with said "routine" but I work well under pressure. So I should have something by the end of the night, right? LOL.
 
As far as the year goes, I have no idea where I’ll end up, but I’m going to try and take it one month at a time.
 
I love the idea of monthly goals instead of yearly ones. How do you set goals for yourself? Have you changed how you set yourself up for success?
 
I’d love to hear about it.
 
~Roxy

If I have learned anything about myself, it is that I am a self-help book ho. I love self-help books. 

There aren't a ton of brilliant break through moments in these tomes. Many self-help books talk about the same basic tenants. 

Some of the themes I see repeated...

1. Use affirmations to tell yourself exactly who you are about to become.

2. Think big, but start with small steps. Goals need baby steps, just like we did.

3. Start your day off right. Most of the time, by starting it off early.

Yeah. Early morning productivity is a big theme I see a lot in books. We all remember my Miracle Morning kick, right? If not, I'll spare you. I got injured and felt like absolute shit when I couldn't complete the umpteen million steps I had laid out for myself every day.

My miracle mornings had me feeling like I could take on the world...if I got them done. When I started missing the routine, I felt like absolute shit. I felt like a failure, and added into the other craziness that was going on in my life around the time I started missing my routine, it was one more issue that sent me spiraling. 

As a straight-A student for the vast majority of my life, failure is something I fear. Failure causes an eruption of emotions that should probably be addressed by a professional, but that would involve me admitting my own short-comings to a real person face-to-face, and I can't think of a more real vision of hell.

And after saying all that...my latest self-help read is about waking up early and doing morning routines. 

Now that you've all face-palmed at me, let me explain why. 

I thrive in the mornings. The house is quiet. I get one-on-one time with my pets. I get to listen to audiobooks or podcasts without someone constantly interrupting me (in a house with 5 people and 4 pets that's huge), and I get to drink my coffee all the way through without reheating it.

When I was writing regularly, my best words came before noon. After making lunch for everyone and scarfing down my own food in between the different meals for my pickyass family, I wasn't good for much more than mundane tasks.

In the new year I want to find the joy in my life again, and much of that joy came from writing, reading, and my animals. When did I get time for all that? Around 5am.

​Which is why I used some built up audible credits to download, Good Morning, Good Life.

I'm also following along with a book club through one of my favorite planner channels on YouTube, Cindy Guentert-Baldo. She is doing a lot of "plan with me" style videos for the new year, and while she and I are not of the same planning style, I like hearing her opinions, and she's a foul-mouthed momma that I relate to on a lot of levels. 

My thoughts on this book...

1. Buy or borrow in paper if you can.

This book has a few exercises at the end of the chapters that are a pain the butt to do if you have to keep rewinding to get the information down. In fact, I only completed the first prompt, because I was listening to this book while running errands, and stopping in the middle of the grocery store to write down deep meaningful journal entries just wasn't going to work for me. I'm probably going to re-read this or at least jump to the prompt pages when I have more time.

2. This is a kidless woman who works out of her home talking about how to make the most out of your mornings. 

To be fair, she acknowledges that she has it easier than a lot of people, but I know many folks will be grumpy by this fact, so giving you the heads up if you're thinking of purchasing. That being said, I don't disagree with her logic or her methods. There is always a way to fit in your dreams, but you have to make it a serious priority. I published my first book in a 1200 square foot house with no office, three kids, and two dogs underfoot. Everyone has their problems, and if we assign priority to something, we can do it. (Not talking about people with chronic health issues or people in crisis mode. You know when you're ready to do something about your dreams.)

3. I view this as Miracle Morning Lite

I saw a lot of the Miracle Morning mindset and techniques in this book. The difference? Amy doesn't expect you to do all of them every morning. She just suggests options and wants you to craft your own experience. 

4. A couple of items I plan on getting back to after reading this.

I'm going to start drinking water first thing in the morning again. Hydration is super important, and being that I'm recovering from the plague over here, it's extra vital. I'm also going to start journaling again. But I'm not ready to do anything too commitment heavy, so I'm journaling in the goodnotes app. One page. Big text. I'm also going to start reading more. But I have to admit that I'm not ready for romance yet. So I'm picking up alternatives. I'm getting into The Burial Society, by Nina Sadowsky, and I'm trying to read paper again to work on disconnecting from the internet. I learned I need to have a healthy distance sometimes, and it's important to have mental downtime.


The new year is always a time that I feel inspired to mix things up in my life. But rather than a radical shift this year, I'm going to start plucking bits from past years and make a new reality for myself. 

I started this morning sitting alone and writing this blog. The kids and hubby are all asleep. School and all the activities that come with it start back up tomorrow, so I'm taking today to enjoy the calm before the storm.

I'm off to do a quick journal entry, and then read a book to unplug. After a load of dishes, because I think they multiplied overnight. 

What are you going to do for yourself today?

~Roxy

I don't know how long ago, or how many times, but I know I've talked about making the decision to do something on this blog before. That decision could be anything from finally moving that load of laundry you've washed three times already to the dryer, or setting up a retirement plan and drafting a will.

We make decisions about how to spend our time every day, and for a lot of us procrastinators out there, we find ourselves saying things like...

"I ran out of time"

"The day got away from me"

"How is it already 8pm?"

Just because we didn't actively say, "I'm going to scroll through twitter and find out what my Hogwarts house says about my dessert preferences through a quiz" we choose to do just that.

We put different levels of importance on different tasks. For my fellow procrastinators out there, if the world is not going to implode right this minute, most of our tasks can wait. In that eleventh hour we become productivity machines. We also figure out really quickly what items on our list necessitate the highest priority. Because when you need to get at least four hours of sleep before the evil day job, you're going to make a few cuts to your list. And the ability to have a clean mug to drink coffee out of in the morning usually tops my list, which is why in my eleventh hour I end up doing dishes.

I've gotten to the point in my adulting journey where I've realized if I make the decision to do something with all my mind and my heart, it gets done. No matter what the task is, or how odd of a time in my life it has to happen, I get shit done. But...I have to be all in. 

I was trying to come up with a way to make you understand what "All In" means. 

The best example of this in my recent memory is when I decided hubby and I were going to move. I knew when I wanted to sign on the dotted line. I knew I didn't want to be in any transitionary housing, and I knew we couldn't afford to buy one house without selling the other. So I took on basically a full time job of prepping one house, hunting for another, securing the financing, and finally accomplishing the move. I didn't have a backup plan. We'd be successful, or we'd be homeless. I got shit done.

Was the move fun? Um...no. Were there some things that could have gone more smoothly? Definitely, but we are in our new house, with a lower monthly payment, and no one sued us. So we're doing good.

I was committed. And I realized that if I give myself that level of commitment, I CAN accomplish whatever I want. 

Never had something that was that life or death to compare it to? Okay...let's talk about the last time you really had to poop. Think back to that sense of urgency. I bet good money, you didn't just say, "Oh well. I don't have time to drop a deuce right now. I'll have to get to it tomorrow."

No matter what you were doing when that bad Mexican food from lunch hit you, you found a way to get to a bathroom.  You re-worked your drive route to stop in and obliterate a gas station bathroom. Or you re-thought your route home so you could avoid the massive pot holes that might have shaken something loose. You re-scheduled a meeting because there was no way you were going to be able to meet with a client and not shit your pants. You...in that moment...made the decision to go to the bathroom.

I can hear you now..."But Roxy, that's different. You can't NOT go to the bathroom." To you naysayers out there, I'm telling you, if you have the ability to rework your schedule to go to the bathroom, you have the ability to rework the schedule to get your work done.

All you have to do, is feel the urgency that comes with it. That "NOW" feeling that makes your toes curl, because it's got to happen right this very second. When you can make yourself feel that...then you've really decided to do something. 

I'm a writer, and one of the biggest problems I come across in my "Must Do" is getting started writing. I get interrupted. A dog vomits, a cat starts clawing the couch, or my problematic car dies and needs to get serviced...again. But when I really make the decision to write. I do it. I've written on my laptop in the repair shop. I've written on my phone while waiting in line at the vet. I've written on voice recording apps on my phone when stuck in traffic or running errands. I don't find the time, I create it.

So tell me...what have you decided is going to happen today? What are you going to create time for? I'd love to hear about it.

~Roxy

What would I do if I knew I'd succeed?

That was a question I first heard on a podcast that has quickly become one of my favorites, "Unf*ck Your Brain". A lot of people I've talked to didn't get the same impact from the question as I did. They must not be listening to the podcast. They're missing out.

But the question resonated with me, and I have a feeling a lot of people with a debilitating fear of failure would benefit from thinking on this one too.

I want to break down exactly what this question sparks in me, and share just what kind of meaning it's already started to bring into my every day life.

I'm petrified of failing. Maybe it's that one D I got on a report card in elementary school that sparked it. Maybe it's the fact that I came out on top of a lot of school projects by working the system and learning the teachers instead of the material. Or perhaps it's the fact that I get some of my best work done last minute. (That's what my inner demons chant around the fire, but that's a topic for another day.) However you look at it, I've spent the majority of my life earning grades, getting jobs, and most of it was a first time success. I didn't have a lot of failure, so the first time it happened for me...in any capacity...it was devastating. 

As much as I want to break out and do something fantastic, routine feels comfortable. Even if it's a routine I hate, it's a known entity. As I've gotten older, the routines I've forged out of financial and health necessity have started to turn into ruts. It's a lot harder to change a position you've been in for a decade, than it is to upend just a year long venture.

What would I do if I knew I'd succeed?

This question struck me. Would I be doing exactly what I was doing now if I knew I couldn't fail? Nope. Not a chance. I work in retail. With no benefits. And no hope of promotion unless I'd agree to a 50 hour work week, and following rules I don't agree with. I don't know of anyone who'd be doing that.

But it's hard to go from someone who is stuck in a rut to taking chances on dreams that seem monumentally huge. It's damn difficult to put yourself out there to someone who might *gasp* say, "No."

That's why I started with some baby steps. 

There's a technique I've talked about previously called "Thought Ladder" that brought me to a way to use this idea of shooting for the stars in my every day life.

My end goal is to think big enough and have enough confidence in myself and my abilities to ask "What would I do if I knew I'd succeed?" and have the perfect answer. Frankly, I don't have an answer yet. But I'm working on it. Let me show you what path I've started on to get myself to the big dreams.

1. It wouldn't hurt if I tried this.
Not even a question, but go with me here. Many of the things I want to go for and step out of my comfort zone for, send my mind on a world-ending spiral. So taking a step back and reminding myself that most of the things I can take a chance on won't change my current situation at all, or will only result in a "no" or an opportunity I still have the choice to take or not take, puts my brain at ease. 

2. What great things could happen if I tried this instead?
We've moved up to a question. See? Progress. Asking myself what good things would happen instead of just a general "What if?" sets me up for a positive mindset that I'm going for. And using "could", allows me to let my brain still cling to the fact that the good might not happen, but makes me realize it's a possibility. 

3. What's the best outcome in this instance? And what would be the minimum I want to proceed with the project?
Now we're getting somewhere. Here's the tricky part. Sometimes the best outcome I've pictured in my head is smaller than what happens. I'm a "realist" sure, some say pessimist, but they don't understand me. ;) When I go over exactly what I think the best outcome is, I learn that sometimes I'm wrong in the best way. Sometimes I don't hit the goals I set, but there is still something worth going for. Which is what the second part of this query is about. If I get something good out of the venture, what is the bare bones I need to move forward. In the writing world especially, this could be a contract. Best case? A hefty advance. Minimum requirement? A solid contract with an end date and an exit clause.

4. What would I do if I knew I'd succeed?
We've made it! This is where I'm trying to get to with every part of my day. What would I do if I had the option of doing whatever I wanted with my life? And how would the action I'm taking at this very moment benefit that? What would I do if I knew I had the secret sauce and whatever I touched would turn gold?

Me? I'd be promoting. I'd be querying. I'd be putting myself out at book signings. I'd be writing. 

Taking my own advice is damn hard sometimes. And I get discouraged. But it's worth taking a shot. Let's walk through a very recent example of this practice I had with #CarinaPitch. I've been intrigued by Carina as a publisher for quite some time, and I have a project I've been fiddling with for far longer than I should be. (AKA, it should be done by now.) Carina Pitch is a twitter contest where you attempt to entice an editor at Carina with your pitch in tweet form. 

I started out at Step 1. It wouldn't hurt if I threw out a tweet for the pitch. They're accepting proposals, so I'm well within the rules to toss out a tweet for my WIP. This contest is good elevator pitch practice, and exercises my logline skills. I should try this.

Step 2. By doing this I could gain name recognition with the editors at the publisher I've got my sights set on. I can familiarize myself with their submission process, and if I were to get a request, I have a chance at getting excellent feed back about what they're looking for.

Step 3. The best outcome would be getting a request or two. I could get a deadline I desperately need, and get feedback about the project from industry professionals. The minimum benefit would be practice tightening my words, finding my hook, and reaching out to some of my contacts for feedback. When I laid this out, there was no good reason not to give it a shot.

Step 4. If I knew I'd succeed, I'd write out a second tweet by myself for the project (we were allowed two per the rules), and go for it. If I knew I'd succeed, I'd submit the best work I can do, and gain the attention of the editorial director and my editor of choice. I'd submit my proposal and I'd sign a contract I am excited to put my name on.

I got three requests. One of them from the editorial director herself. I pulled a couple of my buddies into my process for one of the tweets, taking time to work it down to the best possible verbiage. The other tweet, I gave myself the freedom to knock it out and have fun. Both got requested. 

Did I think any of that would happen? NOPE. But now I'm working out my submission, and getting some seriously excellent help from some friends. I'm also doing something I probably wouldn't be doing unless I'd had the audacity to ask myself, "What would I do if I knew I'd succeed?"

~Roxy
 

I've been obsessing over the idea of choosing a single word for the year for quite some time. And part of the reason my interest in this idea was sparked was through the #MyIntent project. 

I don't remember if I first saw this company on Facebook or a morning show, but the minimalistic beauty of wearing your intention every single day, and looking at it to keep you on track was brilliant to me.

If you have no idea what "My Intent" is, here's a quick video about it.

I have been eyeing the Maker's Kit at the My Intent website for almost as many years as I've been picking my own word of the year. And now, since my word is "START", I thought it was time I start wearing my intention as well as just trying to live it.

So I bit the bullet and ordered the kit. The basic package I ordered, came with some practice discs, the bracelets, the hammer, platform, and letters. I'm already itching to order more. 

I practiced for a few discs, and then swiped some washers of the same size from my husband's workshop. I wanted to get the hang of the spacing and technique before I penned my own word.

There is something incredibly powerful about metal stamping your word into a bracelet. It takes thoughtfulness and, if you're a klutz like me, a very real risk of pain if you miss. I was impressed by the quality of the metals used and the cord in the kit. 

The website truly doesn't do the products justice. And after stamping a few "My Intent" branded discs put up against the regular washers, I realized that the way the metal looks is night and day with the stamping process.

So I was totally done waiting. I stamped my own word standing at hubby's work bench. Scaring the crap out of the animals in the process. LOL.

In just a few minutes I had something I made that means quite a lot to me. I've only been wearing it a couple days, but I find I'm noticing it often. I'll end up spinning the disc so the word sits just right, or touching the etching on the metal.

It reminds me that I've been completing my Miracle Morning at the start of every day, and that there are so many adventures waiting for me if I simply start with the first step. 

I'm three weeks into the new year and my new routine, and I'm so pumped for 2019. There is so much awful going on every damn day in our world. Maybe there's a chance I can start something good for someone. So wether it's sharing my writing in books, on this blog, making bracelets, or even breaking out my notes on podcasting, I'm hoping to start something inspirative this year. I just have to...start.

Do you have a word of the year? How do you keep it to the front of your mind? Would you wear a bracelet like this? Or is this type of jewelry not your thing? I'd love to hear about it.

​~Roxy

The new year and new goals also lead lots of us to start re-evaluating our spaces. It's no wonder Marie Kondo's Netflix series is getting so much watch time.

Seeing people tackle large spaces and getting tips on how we can declutter and organize is like crack to me. Also, there might be that little bit of "at least I'm not THAT bad" pinging around in my head, making the decluttering and cleaning I have to do seem more possible.

I'm re-doing my #Roxys7DayChallenge for the next 7 days (You can follow along with me and keep me honest over on Instagram @RoxyMews). Being that I wrote the challenge, I know I have some cleaning coming up. So I've been snooping around YouTube for some inspiration. Especially no and low cost inspiration, because xmas kind of killed the budget.

This was one that gave me the happy organized vibe. And started me down the rabbit hole.

Do you get the urge to organize and update your spaces in the new year too? Or is this just a me thing? Do you have any favorite organization/cleaning videos you watch to get your moving? Or are you going to play along with my #Roxys7DayChallenge? Send me a link or tag me in a pic on Instagram if you're doing my schedule challenge along with me. I'd love an accountability buddy.

~Roxy

I'm a week into my New Year's Resolution of doing my Miracle Morning every day, and today was a struggle. I work 12 hour shifts every Sunday, so my body was not too happy with me when the alarm went off and I had to get my butt out of bed.

But instead of wasting time on my phone until it was time to get head into work for the day, I started with my seventh day of Miracle Morning in a row. Here are some changes I'm already noticing after a week.

1. I feel my body settle quicker when I start meditating.

I'm only doing ten minutes of mediation to start out my day, but I may add an afternoon or evening practice in as well. I don't want to add onto my morning because I want to make sure what I'm doing is sustainable all year, but I'm feeling the benefits. I feel my muscles sink into the couch where I close my eyes and breathe deeply every morning. I am able to let the million and one thought bubbles pop a little easier. And I can focus on things more than I'd been able to before this week began.

Not only that, but when I sit down and close my eyes, my shoulders drop. My jaw unclenches. The pressure behind my eyes softens. I'm incredibly grateful I picked up my mediation practice again.

2. I'm able to let more shit go instead of holding onto the anger or pain.

I was feeling really sad, and any horrible thing tended to send me spiraling. All the awful things piled on and my tears or rage would spring to the surface easily. After just one week, I can feel a space forming for me between those extreme reactions. Don't get me wrong. When an asshole cuts me off or drives fifteen under the speed limit, I still test the magnitude of my cursing abilities. Road rage is real, y'all. But when I turn off my social media for the day, I'm able to let some of the awful things go. Certain things chase me down and find me anyway, but I've got some armor on. I've got the knowledge that I'm working on making things better by starting with myself.

3. I can go up and down the stairs multiple times without getting winded.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not signing up at a modeling agency or to run a marathon, but even just 3 minutes a day of movement has made a difference in how I am able to make it around my house of many stairs. I'm interested to see what happens when I make it up to 5 minutes a day.

4. My confidence is experiencing a nice boost.

There is something about journaling on a regular basis that pumps me up. I always seem to end on a little pep talk to myself, and it seriously gets me ready for the day. Don't get me wrong. A customer service job tends to knock the wind out of your sails pretty soon after, but I get that fresh start all over again the very next day. I don't enjoy my job, but I can already tell, I head into work hating it a little less.

5. I want to do more.

I'm on the lookout for personal development classes. I'm wrangling people to write with me. (And we're starting tomorrow, ladies, so get your shit ready!) I am thinking of adding in some afternoon and evening items to my week. Now, don't get me wrong. I have been a victim of the crash and burn before. So I know better than to pile on too much at once. But I think I'm going to put together a list of items I can do if I'm feeling particularly on top of things that day.


I'm even finishing up my blog before I head into the evil day job. Look at me go! Did you make any New Year's Resolutions? Now that it's the 7th day of the year, have you kept up? Or have you realized the thing you wanted to do most wasn't right for you? I'd love to hear how the first week of your 2019 is going. Tell me in the comments!

~Roxy

No, I'm not talking about those chain letters that tell you to pass a sparkly .GIF on to five people to get good luck. Anyone who has sent me one of those...they always die with me. Sorry, not sorry. So you might as well stop. Please.

The chain I'm talking about today has to do with habits, or resolutions. Whatever you want to call them, I'm talking about something you want to start doing every day. This doesn't include cutting out sugar or chocolate, unless you're going for a shorter chain. 

What I want to accomplish this year is to integrate habits into my morning routine. Every morning. The Miracle Morning I posted about isn't something that would ever be bad for me. Even if I'm sick or turn up injured, every one of my SAVERS could be modified to fit new restrictions or breakthroughs. 

The phrase, "Don't Break the Chain", has been simmering in the back of my brain for a long time. I'm sure I've heard it in many self-help or productivity guides, but lately it's been resonating with me. Because it takes something shiny and techy to get my attention, the first place I really started to think about this was with Simone Giertz's kickstarter for the everyday calendar. She wanted to mediate everyday, and made a gadget to help her keep track visually for an entire year. 

While I love the idea, I'm not in a position to drop $400 on a calendar. Do you know how many planner stickers I could buy with that?!?!

If you've never heard of the "Don't Break the Chain" idea, below is a short video about why it works.

This idea for me, is like the red car phenomenon. You know how you buy a car that's red, and suddenly you see red cars everywhere? That's what the chain method has been for me over the past few days. I know I'd heard the idea before, but it seems to be everywhere I turn now. I've seriously run across it at least once a day for the past week. 

Maybe that has to do with the New Year and resolution content being so prevalent, but either way, I took notice.

Since I want to start doing my SAVERS everyday, it's the perfect time for me to get in on the chain action. I bought myself a cheap but pretty calendar from Dollar Tree, and I'm going to be marking off each day with a big pen slash. I would use a red marker, but I bought this shit at the Dollar Tree, and that paper isn't thick enough for marker. ;)

I'm also testing out HabitBull on my phone. I was thinking about writing out all the SAVERS individually for separate habit arcs, but that's too much effort. I already mark off the acronym in my planner as I go. So I only get to click the little button on the day when I complete all six aspects of my Miracle Morning. I'm also going to play around with the writing/blogging aspect of my goals. I'd like a way to differentiate between fiction writing and blogging without technically breaking my streak. So I've combined them for now, and I'm going to count each blog as only 250 words. That way, on days when I only have 250, I'll know it was a blog day. We'll see if I find value in the app. If not, I'll just stick to the calendar. 

What do you think about the idea of doing something EVERY DAY no matter what? Do you think it's a good idea? Or are you in the camp I used to occupy where you think it's too much pressure? I'd love to hear what you think.

~Roxy