As a mom of three, there are many instances where I am not sure what day it is, or who I am supposed to have where for what. 2020 has been the year that I have been unable to make any plans. The only constant in this crazy year has been inconsistency.

And last week we found out our schools have to close down again. Bars and restaurants and churches get to stay open, but schools where they are actually enforcing mask mandates have to close. Cool story, dudes in charge who will never have to call off work to homeschool their kids...

Of course in the middle of this, we had an election result come through, along with learning new tech for schooling, and new procedures almost daily at work, and I decided I was going to write this month too.

Everyone laugh with me.

But I'm working on allowing myself a little grace. I've given myself permission to suck this year for NaNoWriMo. I'm giving myself permission to just shake shit loose and work on finding that spark of creativity that I have been trying to keep alive while my real life has been smothering it beneath work, homeschool, and attempting to have more than one clean spoon in the house.

I thought I would share a few things I have been doing to make myself write and toss all judgement about the end product out the window.

1. I am only re-reading enough to figure out where I am. I am not going back through and fiddling with all the shit that was written as I was dozing after a long day of errands and kids. If I think about it at the end of a writing session, I make a note about where I am and what's happening next. So I can just jump right in.

2. I am letting dialog tags be simple and basic. I have been horrible at dialog tags from the beginning. It's a weak spot for me, but I love writing dialog lines. It helps me see the characters when I can hear their voices. So if I don't have a good dialog tag, I'm just plopping down the name of who said what and moving on with my life. 

3. I am trying what has worked in the past. For me, what finally let me have a 3k day was sitting in a spot removed from the house (Normally this would have been going to Panera, but...Covid. So I was in my office.) and plugging in my earbuds. I still have a Pandora station. Yes. I'm old. But it is curated with songs that are upbeat and ones I know so well, the words fade for me. The music put me back into a place that my fingers remembered what they were supposed to do. Instead of 1k/1hr, I knocked out 1100 words in 30 minutes.  

Am I anywhere near the NaNoWriMo halfway point? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...no. Am I anywhere near the point I wanted to be at for my own 30k goal? Again...sadly...no. 

But I found a glimmer of why I love writing again. And even if I don't get anymore than 20k words this month, it will still be an accomplishment. Because...seriously...it's 2020.

Are you writing for NaNo this year? How are you doing? I'd love to hear about it!

~Roxy

I am writing this post on November 30th, but sitting at 19k, I realize am not going to hit even the halfway point in NaNoWriMo this year.

It's the first year I've failed as "Roxy" after five straight wins. Even more wins if you count my now dead persona.

It's surreal and hard to swallow. Especially after I started out on November 1st with 5k.

This November kicked my real life ass. Between hubby pulling extra time a state away for his new job, the house needing work, the car needing work, and bills popping up out of nowhere, I struggled. Add in extra hours at my evil day job, and some minor health issues, and my whole month was spent in emergency management.

My morning routine flew out the window. My life revolved around cooking for the family because of no money or time to eat out, and taking vitamin C like there was no ​tomorrow, because there was no option for me to get sick. 

However, this month was not a wash or a fail by any stretch of the imagination. I did a lot of really cool things this month. And I learned a lot! Which is what I want from any NaNoWriMo adventure. 

What did I learn? Here are my Top 5.

1. I found out daily double posts are not realistic. I was able to keep up for a couple weeks, but it wasn't realistic to blog, post, and write on an every day schedule. I've done it in the past, but my home life then was very different than it is now, and I need to rework my expectations. I realized how important my mental health is. And I found that taking the time I needed to not break down, was vital.

2. I learned I really like live-streaming and being on video. I only did one live "write-in" but I enjoyed the hell out of it. I liked talking on camera, and it's something I didn't realize about myself. So I have a new direction to explore.

3. I learned that while I can plot, it's harder for me to adjust on the fly when I have a plot written down. So until I can stick to a plot as written, plotting and fast-drafting together doesn't work well for me. Whether or not this plot style I've tried will net less time in edits still remains to be seen, but I'm going to get some writing done after this post. If I finish a book in two months that requires half the editing of a fast draft written in one...well...hell, it's worth the extra time.

4. I learned how much my hubby pimps my writing when I'm not around. This was one of those weird moments that spurred me to keep working on my manuscript. Hubby's new job takes him on the road a lot and when he's home I try to make it a point to spend some time with him. Which took away from the writing, but my own HEA beats any book ending. He told me about how his work conversation with colleagues turned into him sharing my pen name and some book info. (PS, if you're here because of my hubby, I appreciate it. Hit me up if you want a signed paper copy. I have extras for sale.)

5. I learned that winning or losing NaNoWriMo doesn't define me as a writer. This should have been obvious, but it surprised me that I needed to learn this lesson the most. I am a huge proponent of NaNoWriMo, and I wouldn't change the opportunities and the friends it's afforded me. BUT, I also think it was good for me to not hit my 50k this month. Deadlines are valuable, but it's more important to me now to write a book worth putting up for sale. Could I have written 50k this month? Yes. Would it have been a work I was proud to publish? With the stress and mental fatigue I  was dealing with...not a chance in hell. 


There has been a lot of talk among people (I'm not naming names. No. Not even in DMs) who are profitable in this business. These are people who are using ghostwriters and only working hard on the first 10-20% of their books, because that's all they need to do to sell them. I don't think that could ever be me. And maybe that means I won't get to live off my book sales, but some things are more important than money to me, and integrity is one of those things.

My books might not ever hit a list, but I hope I've made people smile with my stories. I've had authors and editors I respect in this business compliment my voice and story-telling. 

Through my journey so far, I've learned I'm an author. I've been published and reviewed, and no one can take that away from me. Not even a NaNoWriMo loss. 

I'm off to write and take some of what I've learned with me. 

Did you participate in NaNoWriMo? Did you hit your purple bar? What did you learn from this process? I'd love to hear about it.

~Roxy

If you haven't noticed by my lack of blogging lately, I have been hiding out from the interwebs. Life threw me for a real loop and I'm working hard to get my feet back under me. But I am surrounded by a fantastic group of authors and friends, and because we all know by now, (I've said it enough this month, I know. I'll shut up soon.), NaNoWriMo is a time to try new things.

I had a small tripod and a mediocre cell phone, so I tried hosting an online write in, in my NaNoWriMo writers group.

Why not publicly, you ask? Um...it was a stay at home day, and I didn't want to put on makeup. The only reason you get the re-creation pic below is because of photo editing. My eye bags and lack of makeup need help this early in the morning. And frankly, I'm not putting on makeup to take one pic for this blog. I love, y'all. But not enough to attempt eyeliner before a full cup of coffee.


What did I learn from my first live video? Well...let me break it down.

1. FB live video has a delay. I loaded up the FB page to see if my video was actually showing up, and there was a good 10-15 second delay between what I was saying and what was showing up.

2. Avoid front-facing cameras if you need to show anything with words on it. So if you are going to be showing off a book or cute items with quotes, use your rear-facing camera. The FB live feed allows you to line everything up before you start broadcasting, so you have time to line up your shot. 

3. Selfie rules apply. Any selfie addict knows, you need to find your angle. Don't set up a camera below your line of sight. If you're using your laptop, prop that bitch up. The higher the camera, the fewer chins you have. #protip I might not be the most professional videographer, but I know that if you want that good look, setting your video up just off to the side to allow for 3/4 profile, and slightly above my line of sight, works well for me.

​4. You viewing yourself counts as a "watch". I legit thought there was someone in my group watching me for a good 5 minutes before I realized, the viewer was my own FB feed on there. Yep. Felt real dumb.

5. You have the option to post your video after streaming or delete it. After you end your broadcast, you can either post the video to view later or wipe that bitch away. Obviously, how the stream went would determine if you post or don't. I shared mine, mainly because no one else in my group was around, and me yammering and writing for an hour wouldn't be worthwhile if I didn't post it. But if shit goes wrong...no one but those watching live have to know.

6. Turn off notifications! I didn't think about how loud notifications would be. And my phone got a couple of them during the feed which resulted in an epicly loud ding during the video. So another #protip, turn off all notifications and the ability to receive calls before you start broadcasting if using your phone. I'll definitely do so next time. 


Yes, I did go back and watch my own video. And I don't think it was half bad. I thought I'd be awkward and stumbling, but I found the whole experience relaxing. It was like talking to friends. I did occasionally glance at the camera during my writing sprint time and smirk. And there was a bit of a "this is odd" feeling during the writing sprint times, because I felt like I should be talking. Which is also why my writing sprint end count was lower than it usually was. But in about an hour, I chatted, wrote 1400ish words, and tried something new. 

I think I'm going to do more live videos, simply because I enjoyed sitting down and chatting with a cup of coffee in hand. Before I do anything outside of closed groups, though, I'm going to set up my shot better, sit in a room that isn't lit from above, and put on some damn makeup. 

Have you watched a live video stream before? If so, what is your preferred space to watch? FB? IG? Or have you done your own livestreams or write-ins before? If so, share some tips with me. I'd love to hear them.

​~Roxy