Sex is natural and super fun! So when I'm reading a book involving romance, I want my characters to enjoy themselves. The problem doesn't lie with me, or with my comfort level, but it involves the fact that I'm busy, and I don't always have the ability to sit in my house and read.
Am I going to let a packed schedule stop me from reading the books I love? Fuck, no, I'm not.
When I step out and I'm elbow deep in a good book, here are five things I do to not prevent other people from interrupting the exceptionally happy times of the characters I'm reading.
1. Earbuds. Visible ones.
I'm not always listening to my books through Audible. What I am, is interested in not being disturbed. Visible earbuds let people know you can't hear them.
Don't get me wrong, I have still been approached while out in public and trying not to be. Sometimes purple hair causes a scene. But with my earbuds in, I've been known to ignore a person or two and pretend the non-existent music was blasting.
*NOTE* If you are listening to an audio book, start the book before you put your earbuds in. Nothing will get you kicked out of a Panera faster than not having your earbuds all the way in your phone and accidentally blasting a double penetration scene at full volume.
Okay. This might be a weird phobia of mine, but I tend to bite my lips when reading a particularly enticing scene. So I make sure to pack lip balm. If I feel like I might end up looking like a wannabe LL Cool J out there, I take out the lip balm to remind myself to stop.
3. Kid-Blocking Noise
Nothing kills the romantic vibes like a child throwing a tantrum. Since I've already got my earbuds engaged, I'll pull up a white noise app, or my ambient mixer environment of choice. Sure...babies can sometimes result from the activities I'm listening too, but when the heroine has her legs wrapped around her partner's head squeezing the life out of them as she's riding the rails to O-Town, I don't want to listen to a two year old talk to their parent about what type of bodily function is currently urgent.
For quite a while, the vast majority of the books I loved weren't even available in paper. I was forced to adopt an e-ink lifestyle. And I regret none of it. I love reading books that are different. From vampires who can mist out of their clothes, to exceptionally naughty babysitters, to shapeshifters with more sass than I'd ever seen before, these books weren't available at my local bookstore. So when I pick up a book, my first instinct is now to grab the e-copy. And it not only lets me read with a bit less judgement in my conservative area of the country, but it also lets me carry tons of books in my purse.
5. Stop giving so many fucks to people who don't deserve them
There got to be a point where I had to say, I don't care what you think. Even considering the intense Catholic school guilt, I hate to admit how long it took me to get where I am. But I finally realized that if people want to read over my shoulder, or judge my book choices while they crush candy on their phones, that's their fucking problem.
Don't want to be offended my my reading a book? Don't look.
What books do you love to read that might not be appropriate to quote in public? I'd LOVE to hear about them. And if you're in need of something a little naughty, there are a few books in the side bar that certainly fit the bill. ;)