I've been talking a lot about fear lately. With pretty much anyone who will listen to me whine.
I need to buy a lot of edible arrangements and send them to a lot of people.
But I've been working on improving myself and part of improving is finding out where you're starting from. Which kinda sucks when you're as much of a scaredy cat as me.
Fear is a seriously paralyzing influence, so I thought I'd share the top 5 things I use to combat it.
1. Call that bitch out by name.
For a while I was even scared to say I was scared. Fear is kind of like Voldemort. The more you call it "The emotion that will not be named" instead of simply saying "I'm afraid", the longer you're going to be stuck there.
I finally had to admit, when people asked me what was stopping me, that it was fear. And once I admitted where I was stuck, it was time to get my ass working my way out of it.
Name your fear. Call it out. Then figure out where to stab the first of Fear's Horcruxes.
2. Rewrite your truth
Journaling might not be for everyone, but it's been huge in me getting back out into the world. I write down everything I'm thinking. If I end up in a dark place, I take the time to take apart each sentence. I rewrite the bad. For every unrealistic tangent my brain takes me down, I put down reality, and then I turn it into something positive.
"I'm a failure."
Becomes...
"I've made mistakes."
Becomes...
"I know what not to do next time."
Which molds into...
"I've got a brilliant plan to start moving forward on."
3. Meditate
Yes. I'm going to tell you to do it too. Yes. I'm going to repeat what all those self-help books have told you. Yes. You should do it daily.
I have a blog post on my favorites you can check out by clicking this sentence.
4. Take a baby step
I don't care if your step is sending an email, researching, or writing 500 words. Whatever project you're working on, taking even the smallest step forward can help build momentum. Fear tries to stop you from making any progress, so the biggest way to bitchslap fear is to do something to prove you haven't been beaten.
5. Bargain with or flat out bribe yourself
I literally talk myself into doing things some days. If you wander past my house, even when I'm all alone, you can hear me chatting myself up and telling myself what I'll get to do if I finish my tasks finished. From plotting books to cleaning the litterbox, I negotiate with my brain like it's a tantrum prone 5-year-old.
"If you get this plot finished, you can go to the craft store. Won't that be fun?"
"All you have to do is edit ten more pages, and then you can head to the coffee shop. You know how good it smells in there, don't you?"
Yes. When fear has it's claws in me, I need to talk to myself like a child. And I commonly use phrases like "All you have to do" and "Just finish up this one little thing" because if I downplay the task, it's easier to talk myself into starting. Which, when fear is involved, is often the hardest part.
Those are my top 5 fear fighters. And now I'd love to hear yours. Tell me in the comments below or drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter. I'd love to arm myself with even more ways to battle against fear. Fear sucks.
~Roxy
I need to buy a lot of edible arrangements and send them to a lot of people.
But I've been working on improving myself and part of improving is finding out where you're starting from. Which kinda sucks when you're as much of a scaredy cat as me.
Fear is a seriously paralyzing influence, so I thought I'd share the top 5 things I use to combat it.
1. Call that bitch out by name.
For a while I was even scared to say I was scared. Fear is kind of like Voldemort. The more you call it "The emotion that will not be named" instead of simply saying "I'm afraid", the longer you're going to be stuck there.
I finally had to admit, when people asked me what was stopping me, that it was fear. And once I admitted where I was stuck, it was time to get my ass working my way out of it.
Name your fear. Call it out. Then figure out where to stab the first of Fear's Horcruxes.
2. Rewrite your truth
Journaling might not be for everyone, but it's been huge in me getting back out into the world. I write down everything I'm thinking. If I end up in a dark place, I take the time to take apart each sentence. I rewrite the bad. For every unrealistic tangent my brain takes me down, I put down reality, and then I turn it into something positive.
"I'm a failure."
Becomes...
"I've made mistakes."
Becomes...
"I know what not to do next time."
Which molds into...
"I've got a brilliant plan to start moving forward on."
3. Meditate
Yes. I'm going to tell you to do it too. Yes. I'm going to repeat what all those self-help books have told you. Yes. You should do it daily.
I have a blog post on my favorites you can check out by clicking this sentence.
4. Take a baby step
I don't care if your step is sending an email, researching, or writing 500 words. Whatever project you're working on, taking even the smallest step forward can help build momentum. Fear tries to stop you from making any progress, so the biggest way to bitchslap fear is to do something to prove you haven't been beaten.
5. Bargain with or flat out bribe yourself
I literally talk myself into doing things some days. If you wander past my house, even when I'm all alone, you can hear me chatting myself up and telling myself what I'll get to do if I finish my tasks finished. From plotting books to cleaning the litterbox, I negotiate with my brain like it's a tantrum prone 5-year-old.
"If you get this plot finished, you can go to the craft store. Won't that be fun?"
"All you have to do is edit ten more pages, and then you can head to the coffee shop. You know how good it smells in there, don't you?"
Yes. When fear has it's claws in me, I need to talk to myself like a child. And I commonly use phrases like "All you have to do" and "Just finish up this one little thing" because if I downplay the task, it's easier to talk myself into starting. Which, when fear is involved, is often the hardest part.
Those are my top 5 fear fighters. And now I'd love to hear yours. Tell me in the comments below or drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter. I'd love to arm myself with even more ways to battle against fear. Fear sucks.
~Roxy
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