Every bookstore you walk into there is a vast section all under the header of "Self-Help". I think it's because at the end of the day it is a whole fuck of a lot easier to pick up a book than it is to turn to a human and admit you might need help to change your life.
My life is far from perfect, but I've been taking time every morning to just start working on me. And let me tell you...justifying taking time for just me, and doing something that doesn't benefit anyone in my family but myself... Yeah. I'm not good at that. Or if I do accomplish some "me time" it's followed by a good healthy dose of guilt. (Thanks a lot, Catholic School)
I've been reading this book by Jen Sincero. (<------ This one, click it if you're interested.) And one of the things that really spoke to me, aside from the author because I bought the audio book, was that she called me out on many of the excuses I had going on.
This book talks about changing that mindset from "What if" to "I'm already there". Yes, we're talking affirmations, and woo woo vibes again. Because it freaking works. Let me tell you how I know.
About 2 years ago my A/C unit went out, and we got the news it was on it's last legs at 15 years old, and would cost thousands of dollars to replace. We'd been pumping money into this thing for years. And money was not one of those things we had in abundance. So I looked at my husband, and told him we were moving. And that we were going to be "Out by August."
I said this in June.
We had a wishlist from hell. We wanted to stay in our zip code, we wanted to at least double our living space, and we wanted four bedrooms, a garage, a basement, and a back yard. Not to mention the fact that we couldn't really afford to increase our current mortgage payment, so it had to be cheap. This was the type of list I would do a search for and maybe 3 homes would come up. Not to mention the fact that our area is in a housing BOOM. Houses are selling in hours. We were in a good neighborhood and hand the smallest house there. So pricing was going to be tricky. Not to mention, we had to get the AC up and running, some things cleared out, etc, etc.
But we were going to be "Out By August". So we called up a relative and borrowed the money to fix the A/C, with the promise we'd pay her back with the profits from the sale of our house.
Before we even had a house in mind, I knew in my heart we were moving. When we got enough packed I rented a storage unit to prepare for the showing. He was telling me about the next month rates, and I informed him, we wouldn't need two months, because we were going to sell our house before that next payment was due.
So we started looking at houses. I had an author trip, and of course found the perfect house to look at, but with how fast things were selling, we'd never get to draw up an offer before we left. So I went on the trip, because I deserved to have fun. When I came back, that same house (5 bed, 3 bath, and all our wishlist), was back on the market after an offer fell through. I walked it, and knew it was mine. It needed WORK. I'm talking sliding glass door stuck open inside the house and kitchen carpet level work. But that made it CHEAP. Turns out the sellers were willing to accept our offer contingent on the sale of our house if we could have our house up for sale in 48 hours and sold in a week. But that meant the closing date would be July 29th, and we'd be "Out by August". So I knew it would happen.
We had our house up for sale in 36 hours because it turns out we know a realtor from college. We had our home sold in six days, for more than we'd have thought possible. And we closed on the sale of our old house on July 29th at 9am, so we could sign over a portion of our profits to cover the down payment on the purchase of our new house on July 29th at 4pm.
I have never worked harder in my life, because I knew where we were going, and there was no other option but to get there.
We did it. And we got a house that we will have projects on for the next few decades at least, BUT...we moved. I ripped out the kitchen carpet, we have a real bedroom door instead of a sliding glass door now, and we replaced all the pee soaked carpets in the bedrooms with top of the line NOT pink carpet. We did all of that and removed trees while paying down our credit cards from the profit on our former house.
It worked out because it had to. I didn't have a plan on what would happen if we didn't get the new house or something fell through. There was no net. I didn't need one, because it was going to happen.
Looking back on it, I see that our situation was a smidge unusual. But something else I can see is what making a decision can accomplish. I made the decision to move. It wasn't easy, and many told me they way I wanted it all to happen wasn't possible. But I'd already decided.
Now...*sigh*...now I need to make my next big decision. Because once I decide what's next, I'm going to do it. And I'm not going to let anyone tell me it's not possible.
What are you going to decide today?