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The Stages Of Getting Sick

1/31/2019

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We are an empty kleenex box deep into this year's cold and flu season. I don't know about you, but I try my damnedest to avoid any germs that might be headed my way.

I work in retail. So I am in close contact with germs on the regular. Do you even know how gross, and cootie-covered money is? Ew.

via GIPHY

So I am super conscious about germs at work. I would say *knocking on all the wood* that I haven't picked up any serious viruses from my evil day job. 

The problem lies in the fact that I don't live alone. I have a large family that I have to interact with, eat with, and one I sleep next to every night. Well...that last one...he's the main culprit. My hubby doesn't know how to keep his damn germs to himself. And when I do get sick, it's usually thanks to some nasty bug he's brought into the house and shared with me.

Because of that, I have identified the five stages of getting sick. Want to hear them? Keep reading. And since I started this blog by talking about work, all my gifs today are from one of my favorite shows about retail...Superstore. Enjoy.


STAGE 1 : Noticing Patient Zero

When I see a virus take down someone close to me, I make a serious mental note. When I catch someone sneeze more than twice in an hour when they aren't dusting or cooking with an excessive amount of pepper, they go on my "Don't touch them without using sanitizer afterward" list. 

via GIPHY

Picture
STAGE 2 : Creating a Buffer

I pull back from hugs, or at least try not to breathe heavily around said sick individual. Like I said, it's usually hubby, so I try to be kind while putting at least 3 feet of space between us at all times. 

STAGE 3 : Immune System Power Up

I binge on all the high vitamin C foods. Right now I still have leftovers of all the bell peppers, strawberries, and oranges. I also buy some of the high immunity booster fizzies to add to a glass of water in the morning, and these effing deliciousRicola Herbal Immunity gummies. These suckers have blocked a few colds from taking over my life, and I swear by them.

STAGE 4 : The Tickle You Never Wanted

It could be a scratchy throat, or a particularly chesty cough, or even a burn in your sinuses that lets you know you've started the roll down the hill toward sick. I usually feel it in the back of my throat at first, but the sinuses are usually right behind. And when I notice those symptoms, I start to prepare, because I'm about to get taken over by the germs I fought to avoid. And when you are employed in a "Fire at Will" state, there are no sick days.

At this point, I buy any cold and flu drugs I'm out of, make sure I have extra tissues, and grab at least two freezer-to-oven meal options. I'm about to get sick.

via GIPHY

Which brings us to the final stage...

STAGE 5: Acceptance

​At this point...I'm sick. There's no fighting it. There's no preventing anything. It's here, and I'm miserable. I go through my stash of freezer meals, drink tons of coffee and Tazo Butterscotch Blondie tea to counteract all the cold medicine I'm currently on. Because I don't get to take days off...especially during a polar vortex when every one is home and making tons of noise while using every dish in the house. 

Thank goodness I remembered beer. Because a little buzz to help me sleep is welcome when I'm up sneezing every two hours.

via GIPHY

Has the dreaded cold brought your To Do's to a stop yet this year? Any tips on aiding in a quick recovery? I'd love to hear all about it, in between sneezing fits.

~Roxy

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